(We open at Louie's. Slip's sipping a milkshake behind the counter. Louie's shaking his finger at him. Sally organizes a candy display.)
Louie: (Shakes his finger at Slip) When are you going to pay me the money you owe me? (He pulls out a sheet of paper) Counting that ice cream soda you're drinking, you owe me exactly 35 dollars and 82 cents!
Sally: 36, uncle. Sach bought that box of JuJuBees the other day for the movies.
Slip: Louie, if I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times, we're good for it! And as soon as the boys get some jobs, we'll pay ya.
Louie: When, Slip? When are they going to get jobs? Every job you've had has either not lasted a week or nearly gotten you killed...or both!
Sally: (Chuckles) He has a point.
Slip: We haven't tried 'em all yet. There's gotta be one that won't do either of those.
Louie: You're just lazy, Slip. You refuse to do an honest day's work!
Slip: I will have you know, Louis, that right at this very moment, Sach is on his way wit' the cash. He's even got some we're givin' the Milk Fund.
Louie: That's wonderful!
Slip: Would I lie?
(Sach spares Slip a witty answer. He comes in at this point, carrying a bag and whistling.)
Sach: Oh boy! Hi, Chief! I'll bet you don't know what I have!
Louie: All I care about is if it's money.
Sach: (He pulls a handful of beans out of the bag) Just lookit these, Cheif!
Slip: What is that?
Sach: They're magic beans! A guy around the corner sold them to me. When you plant them, they grow a beanstalk, like the one in the story!
Louie: (Peers in the bag) Tell me there's money in there, too.
Sach: (Shakes his head) No, it took all our money to buy these! But it was worth it! It's a great investment!
Slip: *Eyes widen* You used that money to buy these!?
Louie: You spent all your money on those worthless beans? What about paying me?
Sach: We'll pay you when we go get the money from the giant. Remember the story!
Slip: I'll give you a story! Gimme those! *snatches the beans from Sach's hand*
Sach: Chiefy! (He tries to get them back)
Louie: Sachula, how could you?
Slip: No! *Heads for the door*
Sach: Chiefy, what are you doing to my beans?
Slip: Gettin' rid of them! I don't want no evidence when I commit the murder that's sure to come. *opens the door and tosses the beans out*
Sach: Oh! My beans! (He runs outside after them)
Slip: SACH! *pulls him back inside*
Sach: (Tries to pull away) But Cheif, I want them to grow into a beanstalk!
Slip: An' I want you and the boys to help Louie wit' whatever he needs, since we no longer have the cabbage to pay him! *shoves Sach toward the counter*
Sach: All right, all right! (Turns to Louie) Can I organize the cookies again?
*Slip settles himself into the booth in the corner, nearest the counter and back room door.*
Louie: No, Sachula. The last time you did that, you ate all of the cookies. Why don't you work on putting fresh napkins on the tables instead?
Sally: (Leans over Slip) I'm sorry about the money.
Slip: So'm I. I'm takin' a nap so I don't do nutin' to Sach that I might regress later.
Sally: All right. (Smirks) You sure you don't want to help Sach with the cleaning?
Slip: *Lowers his hat over his eyes* No.
Sally: Suit yourself. (She returns to organizing displays.)
(As Slip settles down, the screen gets wavy. When it goes back to normal, we see that Sally's gone, though everything else is the same. Sach and the other Bowery Boys run into the room.)
Sach: Chief! Chiefy! You're not gonna believe this!
Slip: *Groans as he pushes his hat back* That yer willin' to wake me up and risk life and limb?
Butch: No Slip, it's really incredible!
Sach: My beans grew in front of the shop, n' Louie's havin' a fit!
Butch: Yeah, he says they block the windows.
Sach: (Grabs Slip's hand) You've gotta see this, Chiefy. I told you they'd grow!
Slip: Sach, you crazy moron!
Sach: (Drags Slip outside, followded by the other three Boys) Come on, Chief! It's really neat!
Slip: *Almost runs smack into the beanstalk; slowly looks up and up* I don't believe it.
Louie: Well, I do! It's blocking customers!
Sach: Isn't it great, Chief?
Butch: (Looks up) I didn't think anything got that high!
Sach: Do you think there might really be a giant and gold up there?
Whitey: Can we go up, Chief? Can we, can we?
Louie: If there's gold up there, you can do anything you want! Just be careful. It looks like a long climb.
Chuck: It would be an adventure.
Sach: (Gets on his knees and grab's Slip's coat) Please, Chiefy? Pleeeessse? We never get to have an adventure where we're not getting shot at!
Chuck: He does have a good point.
Slip: Yeah, on the top of his head. *looks up again* Boys...letís go climbin'.
Sach: Oh boy! I get to go first! (He does so)
Louie: I'm not sure I like you doing this. That's an awfully long climb.
Slip: *as Whitey goes after Sach* We'll be fine, Louie.
Sach: (Calls down) If we're not back in an hour, send a banana split after us!
Louie: I'll be sending the police after you if you're not down in an hour!
Slip: Make way, boys, here I come! *goes up next*
*Chuck follows Slip. Butch follows Chuck.*
(We get a long shot of the boys climbing the huge - and obviously fake - beanstalk.)
(Cut to the top. It's a very green area surrounded by mist. In fact, it's really green-green, no longer black and white...and Sach is in color, too, when he emerges.)
Sach: Wow! I feel like Judy Garland! (Looks himself over) I'm in Technicolor! (He calls down) Oh Chiefy! You've gotta see this! Come on, guys! The color's beautiful up here!
Whitey: *Pops up next* Let me up first, Sach! Gimme a hand!
starwenn (9/21/2010 10:41:41 PM): Sach: (Grabs Whitey's hand) You got it! (He hauls Whitey up and onto the soft, bright green grass) Whadaya think? Ain't it somethin'?
Whitey: Wow! Lookit all the color!
Sach: It doesn't get this colorful in the Bowery!
Whitey: It sure doesn't!
Slip: *His hand appears first* Help me up!
Sach: (Grabs Slip's hand...and puffs) Boy Chief, you've gotta start layin' off those milkshakes at Louie's!
Slip: Shudup and pull!
*Whitey joins in. They finally pull onto the grass.*
Slip: *Brushes himself off* I never knew this suit looked this good.
Sach: (Holds out his hat) Look, Chief. I didn't know my hat was blue!
Slip: An' my hat's brown *whacks Sach over the head with it*
Sach: Ouch! Well, it is!
Chuck: *Pops up next and grins* Wow! Hey, Slip, I didn't know that suit was maroon!
Sach: I think I'm gonna like this fanfiction stuff. The budgets are much better.
*Chuck helps Butch up last.*
Butch: Wow! This place sure is bright!
Sach: You know, maybe it's just me, but somethin' 'bout all this feels familiar.
Slip: Familiar or not, lets look around and see what we find.
Butch: I'll bet we'll find that giant yet!
Sach: Oooh, and the gold!
Slip: Lots of gold, hopefully. *heads off in one direction* C'mon!
(The camera follows the five as they stroll across the bright green valley. Everything is huge - the trees, the plants, the grass. A butterfly the size of a jumbo jets passes over their heads. A dragonfly with wings like a stealth bomber buzzes to their left.)
Sach: Everythin's so BIG!
Butch: That rose bush is the size of the Empire State Building!
Chuck: This is amazin'!
*Whitey is staring with his mouth permanently hanging open.*
Sach: (Ducks a blade of grass) That grass almost took my head off! And I thought they didn't cut the grass in Central Park!
Butch: (They stop on the edge of a clear turquoise lake surrounded by huge, colorful flowers that seem to sparkle in the afternoon sunlight) This place is really nifty. It's almost magical.
Slip: This is the most beautiful piece of landscape I've ever seen.
Sach: You know, I still feel like I've seen this before.
Butch: I have a funny feeling I have, too.
*Whitey nods, but his mouth is still hanging open.*
Chuck: Somethin' does ring familiar about it.
(The sparkles gather in front of the boys. They continue to gather until they seem to create a familiar figure...the Boys' friend Gabe. He wears his usual suit...but he now has sparkling red and blue wings and carries a wand.)
Sach: (Hugs him) Gabe! Boy, am I glad to see you!
Butch: Gabe, I hate to tell you, but Halloween's next month.
Gabe: This ain't Halloween boys. I did hear you fellas say this all seems familiar. Well, it should.
Slip: *Folds his arms* What's goin' on, Gabe?
Sach: Yeah, whaddya mean?
Gabe: You've all been here before.
Butch: We have?
Slip: 'Scuse me?
Sach: I've never been here before! (Thinks) At least, I don't think I have...
Gabe: Here's the story. Slip and Chuck were once the personal bodyguards of King Louis, Queen Gertrude, and their niece Princess Sally. Butch was the palace musician, and Whitey and Sach were wizards. However, an evil giant turned the royal family into objects and cursed their household, throwing you down to the world below and making you forget your former lives.
Sach: I'm a wizard? Can I do card tricks?
Butch: Palace musician? (Grins) I like that.
Slip: *Smirks* I could be a bodyguard. *jerks a thumb at Chuck* Dunno 'bout him. He's kinda on the smaller side.
Chuck: I'm the same height as you, Slip.
Whitey: *Jumps at Sach* Wizards! I was a Wizard!
Sach: Me too! We get to do magic! No wonder we're so good with chemistry an' radios!
Butch: Where are the King and Queen and Princess now?
Gabe: And why you're back here. We need you to find the Giant & kill him so we can return the stolen treasures to the royal family. All we know is that the royal family is missing.
Slip: And where does this Giant make his inhabitude?
Gabe: *points across the river to a huge castle* Over there.
Slip: Over wh... *eyes widen* wow!
(The castle Gabe indicates is a humongous yellow and red fairy-tale castle, with flags the size of tapestries flying and a drawbridge bigger than any bridge in the world.)
Sach: Wow! That's the biggest house I ever saw.
Gabe: First, before we go any farther fellas, as much as I like those clothes, they don't quite fit in here. *snaps his fingers*
Sach: (Looks down; he now wears a blue robe; there's a blue silk cord with a small velvet pouch around his neck) Oh wow! Now I'm really blue!
Whitey: *Wears an identical robe, but his is red* Oh boy! I got one too. Red, even!
Butch: (Looks at his simpler suit of green peasant clothes and his feathered hat and short knife) Not too bad. (He pulls something out of a bag on his hip) I'm a one-man band! Flute, pipes, and a harmonica!
*Slip and Chuck eye each other in identical tunics, with a sword at the hip and big feathered hats. The only difference is Slip's tunic is maroon and Chuck's is brown.*
Sach: Lookit you two! You look like knights from my storybooks!
Slip: *Turns to Gabe* If you've done anythin' to my suit...
Gabe: *Rolls his eyes* You'll get it back later from wardrobe.
Butch: I think we're ready to rescue princesses now.
Sach: Oh boy! Is the princess beautiful?
Gabe: Yes, but she already had her eye on someone...
Sach: Aww! I never get the girl.
Slip: *Ignores Sach* So now how do you compose us gettin' across the river, hmmmm?
Gabe: We'll need a boat. Ah ha! *pulls what is in actually a huge leaf over to the river banks* This!
Slip: *Nods* A giant leaf. Natterally.
Butch: (He climbs in) It's a lot sturdier than it looks.
Sach: Let's see if this works. (He pulls a pinch of blue dust out of his velvet pouch and tosses it in the water. Two sticks appear) Oooh! There you go! We got oars to steer with!
Slip: *Pats Sach's cheek as he passes him* Thank you, my good man.
Sach: Sure, Chief. Always glad to help.
Gabe: All aboard!
*Everyone else climbs in. Slip and Chuck argue for the "Captain's Position."*
Gabe: *Sighs* Some things never change.
Sach: (He hands one stick to each) How about we have two captains?
Slip and Chuck: *In unison* No!
*Gabe slaps his forehead.*
Sach: Then us wizards can do it. (He takes a stick and hands Whitey the other one)
Whitey: We sure can!
Slip: Just don't turn us in circles.
Sach: We know what we're doin'! We're wizards! (And they take their positions in the front and proceed to pole them across the huge river and over to the castle.)
(The boys glide across the waters, watching the amazing scenery go by. Gabe flies with them, sparkles trailing behind him.)
Butch: This place is really somethin'.
Whitey: It's so beautiful!
Sach: You know, I wonder if we can do other magic?
Butch: Yeah. I'll bet you can do a lotta stuff!
Whitey: We're Wizards, ain't we?
Gabe: You can do practically anything you want.
Slip: For right now, can ya steer us?
Sach: Oh pipe down, Chief. (He tosses blue dust at him. A gag appears in his mouth. Chuck pulls it off.)
Slip: Try som'en like that again, Sach, and yer goin' overboard!
Gabe: Guess I should've phrased that differently.
(That's when the waters under the boys seem to rumble. Sach DOES almost go overboard. Whitey yanks him back.)
Sach: Whoa! Who's rockin' the boat?
Slip: Will you two maniacs quit horsin' around!
Chuck: *Eyes widen* Uh, Chief?
Gabe: *Darts to the other side* The Giant!
(Indeed, a giant foot steps down periously close to the boys' raft. They all hold on for dear life!)
Butch: I hope that foot belonged to the Jolly Green Giant!
Slip: *Yells as if the Giant is paying attention* Hey! Get outta our way! We was here first!
Sach: (He also yells) Try that again, an' I'll turn you into a little mouse!
Butch: Guys, careful! You're gonna tip us over!
Slip: *Stands on the side* C'mon, Giant! I dare ya to try that again!
(That's when the giant does put his other foot down...and as he steps onto the drawbridge, he creates more and larger waves! Coupled with Slip standing suddenly, they DO tip over! Everyone goes sailing into the water but Gabe, who flutters to shore.)
Gabe: *Calls out* Fellas!
(Sach comes up first, dragging Slip.)
Sach: You ok, Chief? Speak to me!
*Slip spits out water right into Sach's face.*
Sach: Geez, Chief. Ok, then, how about you just pretend to be a fish?
Slip: Where's the others?
(Butch crawls out next, spitting out water and leaves.)
Butch: This water may be pretty, but it sure swims the same. (He flops on the bank)
*Whitey appears next, floating on a smaller leaf.*
Sach: (Frowns) We're missin' Gabe n' Chuck. (Goes to Whitey as his leaf floats onto the bank) You ok?
Whitey: I'm okay.
Gabe: *Floats over* I'm here.
Slip: *Yells* CHUCK!?
Sach: (Wiggles his finger in his ear) If you lost your voice, Chief, it's in my ear.
Gabe: *Points down a ways* He's over there!
Slip: Outta my way... *pushes away from Sach and runs over to find Chuck coughing up water.* You never was a good swimmer.
Chuck: *Between coughs* Rub it in.
Sach: Chuck! Oh Chuckie! (He hugs him) I'm so glad you're ok!
Chuck: You're glad?
Butch: Now that we're all here, we've gotta get in that castle.
Sach: (Wrings out his blue robe) But first, we gotta get dry.
Whitey: Oooh, can I do it, Sach?
Sach: (Shakes out his hair) Sure! I'm still all wet.
*Whitey tosses some dust over them, leaving them all in dry clothes.*
Sach: This is much better.
Butch: Ok. How are we gonna get in the castle?
Slip: Any suggestions, Gabe?
Gabe: Well, you've got two magic-faring friends.
Sach: (Looks at Whitey) Maybe we could make us appear in the castle?
Whitey: We can use our magic together.
Sach: I like that. Ok, everyone close their eyes an' wish very hard to be in the castle.
(The others do so, exept for Gabe. Whitey and Sach toss their red and blue dust in the air together. Gabe adds his golden sparkles from his wand. When the dust and sparkles subside, they're all gone as we fade out on the scene.)