(We open in a glittering fairy-tale palace. A man in a butler's uniform announces guests. He does a double-take as the Boys enter. Butch, Sach, Whitey, and Chuck are first. They all wear their noblemen's costumes from "Sally and the Beast," without the crown.)
Sach: Oh boy! Get a load of this place!
Butch: (Nods at the large orchestra playing an instrumental waltz) That's quality music over there! I think it's Strauss!
Sach: (Looks around hungrily) Where's the buffet?
Butler: Announcing (looks at his paper and raises an eyebrow; then) Masters Horace DuBussy Jones, Bartholomew Williams, Charles Anderson Mahoney, and Whitmore Johnson.
Sach: Hey, he knew my whole name! What else is on there? (Tries to grab the paper, but the butler grabs it back, annoyed. Chuck takes Sach's hand.)
Chuck: Don't touch.
Sach: I wasn't gonna hurt it! I was just gonna look at it!
Sally: (Laughs as she and Slip come up behind them) Just let the man do his job, Sach. (She wears a large purple gown that looks like 50s by way of the Brothers' Grimm, with lots of ruffles, spangles, petticoats, netting, and a tight bodice that shows off rather more cleavage than a fairy tale princess should.)
*Slip wears his maroon prince's robes from "Sally and the Beast," also without the crown. He holds one of Sally's arms protectively in both of his.*
Butler: (Announces their names again) Master Terrence Aloysius Mahoney and Mistress Sally. (Frowns) I say, Miss Sally, do you have a last name?
Sally: (Shrugs) I don't know. Lady Zelda just told me it wasn't hers.
Sach: (As they enter the main ballroom) You don't know your own last name? I'm proud of mine! I come from a long line of Joneses!
Sally: (Shakes her head) I never had need for a last name before, and my parents didn't stick around long enough to tell Lady Zelda what it was.
Slip: That's okay, Sally. Yer sorta mysterious. Havin' only one name fits.
Sally: Thank you, Slip. (She gives him a kiss on the cheek.)
Sach: (Grabs Slip's arm) Hey, look, there's the king and queen!
Sally: Slip, can we go see the king and queen?
Butch: Maybe we shouldn't. We did steal from their garden...
Slip: Yeah, but Sally wants to see them, so I'm goin'.
King Louie: (They sit on their thrones, nodding at the crowd; they smile as Sally and the Boys join them) Oh my! What a sweet girl.
Gertrude: Those gentlemen are interesting, too. Quite...lively.
Sally: Your majesties. (She bows before them. Louie lifts her chin.)
King Louie: You know, you look a little like my own dear Rapunzel would have looked if she'd grown into womanhood. You have golden hair like hers, and those sky-blue eyes that can just melt you. Rapunzel was our daughter. She was, uh, taken from us. (He blushes.)
Sally: (Nods) Yes, I heard. (Sighs) I wish you were my parents! I was abandoned as a child.
King Louie: That's terrible. Anyone who'd abandon you would be the meanest person in the world. You're too sweet for that.
Sally: (Curtsies awkwardly, blushing herself) Thank you, your majesty.
Queen Gertrude: Who are your escorts?
Sally: Oh, this is Sl...uh, Master Terrence and his friends.
Sach: (Waves) Hiya, your honor!
Butch: I think he's a highness.
Sach: Uh, yeah. Your highness.
Slip: *Bows* Greetin's, yer Majestics.
Chuck: Hello, your Highness.
King Louie: It's nice to meet all of you. Such a fine group of upstanding young men! I hope you're all taking good care of this young lady.
Queen Gertrude: But not too good of care, if you know what I mean.
Slip: No no, nutin' like that.
Sally: Oh, I'll be fine. My mother taught me what to do if someone gets fresh, in case we ever had burglars.
Sach: Can we go eat now?
King Louie: (Nods at the buffet tables) Go have anythin' you want, son. I recommend the Chicken Matzo Ball Soup. My chef makes the best.
Sach: Sounds good to me! (Grabs Whitey) Let's go eat!
Butch: (Turns to Chuck) Wanna go talk to the orchestra? Maybe we could even pick up some tips.
Chuck: *Nods at Butch* Sure. Let’s go.
Sally: (As more music starts, this time a faster waltz) Would you like to dance, Slip?
Slip: I'd love to, Sally.
(Butch and Chuck head over to the orchestra and chat with the pianist.)
Sally: (As Slip leads her out to the dance floor) I'm going to warn you, I've never danced with a real person before.
Slip: *Shrugs* Doesn't bother me any.
Sally: (She takes his hands) I've danced on my own to my singing, but I don't know the latest steps.
Slip: *Grins* I don't, neither.
Sally: (As they glide and swirl around the dance floor) So, what do you boys do when you're not rescuing damsels in distress?
Slip: This an' that.
Sally: Your friends are really a lot of fun. I think they're adorable.
Slip: Yeah, I think they're ugly, too.
Sally: (Laughs) That's not quite what I mean. I think they're very sweet. So are you. (As Slip dips her) So...this is what dancing's like. (Pulls her back up...and very close to him) I like it.
Slip: *Smiles* I was hopin' you'd say that.
Sally: Slip, I...I think you're...very nice... You're the nicest man I've ever met. Of course, you're one of the only men I've ever met...but I'd still say that, even if I'd met dozens. I wish I could stay with you and your boys forever.
Slip: Why can't ya?
Sally: I don't want Lady Zelda to harm you. She's a powerful sorceress. She usually uses her magic for good...but I know it can be used for ill, too.
Slip: I ain't afraid of her.
Sally: I am. There's something...strange...about her. I don't know what. When I look into her eyes, it's almost like I forget who I am and what I want.
Slip: Then we'll keep her away from ya.
Sally: (She lays her head on his shoulder) Promise you'll protect me.
Slip: You bet I will, wit' everythin' I got.
Sally: Slip, I think...is this what love is?
Slip: You bet it it. *Kisses her*
Sally: (When they come up) I like love. I think I like it a lot. It's...incredible.
Slip: Ain't it?
*Zelda walks in at this moment. She wears a cape and stops to chat up some noblemen, but she's looking towards the Monarchs.*
King Louie: (He stands and stretches) Gertie, I have to use the little King's room. Please excuse me. (Heads for the hall; Zelda makes her excuses to the noblemen and follows him.)
(Cut to the dark, shadowy hall. King Louie emerges from a room on the right, pulling up his emerald-green pantaloons.)
Louie: Wish they wore zippers in this story... (Frowns; looks up) Who's there? I know I hear someone.
Zelda: Please pardon the interruption, Your Majesty. *appears in front of him*
King Louie: (Eyes widen) It's you. The one who took my daughter away from us! Wasn't that enough? Do you want a piece of my hide, too?
Zelda: No, but I do seem to recall a promise you made to me.
King Louie: Go away! Get out of here! You can have anything in my garden, but you can't have our powers. That's what you want, isn't it? Our magic. It's not well-known, but our family is magic. Has been for generations. And the most powerful among us are the most innocent...like a young child you can raise. That's why you stole our daughter! Our little Rapunzel!
Zelda: And if you keep after he, I'm going to tell everyone how you stole my vegetables.
King Louie: I had to! Gertie was desperate! She kept saying she'd die if she didn't have some fresh lettuce, and we didn't have any in the castle's garden. You were the only one who had any, and you didn't look like you were home...
Zelda: You still stole.
King Louie: You weren't there to ask! (He narrows his eyes.) Where are you keeping my daughter? And what have you done with her?
Zelda: Like I'm going to just give up that information.
King Louie: I could call the guards and have you arrested in an instant!
Zelda: You'll do no such thing. *steps forward, fixing her gaze on Louie's eyes*
King Louie: (Tries to pull back) Wha...what are you doing? None of your hexes!
Zelda: Just one.
King Louie: No! (But he's looking deeper into her eyes) I don't...my daughter....
Zelda: Yes, keep looking. Look deeper...
King Louie: My daughter...you have her...I...I don't...
(But before Louie can go any further, several familiar figures come strolling down the hall...one in a large purple ball gown.)
Sally: Lady Zelda! I didn't know you were invited to the ball!
Sach: (He has a slice of gingerbread in one hand and a sandwich in the other) Ain't that the lady we saw climbin' down Sally's hair earlier?
Butch: Yeah, that's her.
Slip: Get away from him!
Sally: What are you doing to King Louie?
Zelda: Just showing him who's boss.
King Louie: My daughter...I don't want her....
Sally: What do you mean?
Sach: I bet she's puttin' some spell on our king!
Zelda: Maybe, maybe not.
Sally: Let him go, Lady Zelda! Please! I think he's sweet...and he seems so familiar. I wouldn't want any harm to come to him, or these boys!
Butch: And he's our king! He has a kingdom to run!
Chuck: Besides, he's smaller than you! Pick on someone your own size!
Sally: Zelda, if I go back with you, will you let him go?
Butch: Aw Sally, don't do that!
Sach: Yeah, we like you! You're a nice girl!
Sach: (Steps in front of Sally; puts out the hand with the sandwich) We won't let her go!
Butch: Release our king!
Chuck: Or else.
Zelda: I will let him go if you come with me.
Sally: (Nods) I'll go with you.
Zelda: The lady had spoken gentlemen. *smirks*
Sach: Sally, don't do it!
Slip: *Growls* Like hell she's goin' wit' ya!
Butch: We'll make you release the king!
Zelda: *Waves a hand towards the boys* I think it's time you boys took a pause.
(Indeed, the Boys stop where they are. Sally frowns and takes Slip's arm.)
Sally: Honey, what's wrong?
King Louie: (Rubs his temples) Oooh, my head...
Zelda: Temporary paralysis, so they don't cause you to go back on your agreement, my dear.
Sally: Just don't hurt them. (She puts her arms around Slip) I love him. (Looks at the others gently) And I think his friends are the dearest men in the world.
Zelda: *Rolls her eyes* You don't want to know what I think of them, other than they're a bunch of clods.
Sally: So maybe they're not like the princes in my book. I still think they're dears. (She leans against Slip.) I love this one more than anything.
Zelda: *Smirks* Oh, do you now?
Sally: Yes. I want him and the others with me always.
Zelda: Unfortunately, your agreement doesn't allow for that. *waves a hand in the air over her head in a complete circle, including Sally; the two disappear in a puff of smoke*
(As soon as the smoke dissipates, the Boys stumble to life. King Louie continues to rub his head.)
Sach: (Growls) I knew I didn't like that bad lady! She took Sally!
Slip: *His hands curl into fists* Dammit!
King Louie: (Rubs his head) That witch...oooh, why did I ever think it was a good idea to steal lettuce from her?
*Slip just growls.*
Butch: Steal lettuce? Is that what this is all about?
King Louie: (Nods) Please don't let this get around, but...many years ago, Queen Gertrude was pregnant and craving lettuce. Now, it was winter, and there was no lettuce in our garden. The only garden that had any was Lady Zelda's. None of the servants would go to her house, so I went myself. It didn't look like she was home, so I thought I'd borrow a few and she wouldn't even notice they were missing. (Winces) She noticed, all right. She caught me trying to leave over her wall. Threatened to kill me or drain my powers if I didn't give up the child Gertie was carrying. I was so scared and so desperate, I didn't even think of what I was doing... (hangs his head) ...so I said "yes" and left.
Butch: So she made you give up the Queen's kid.
King Louie: Gertie and I have tried to find her ever since, but Zelda has her well-hidden.
Chuck: And now she's got Sally.
Sach: Are we gonna go find Sally, Chief?
King Louie: Please, save that dear girl. I don't want her to suffer the same fate as my lost daughter Rapunzel.
Slip: 'Course we're goin' after her!
Butch: Do you think we'll be able to find our way back to the tower in the dark?
Slip: *Determined* I know exactly where it is.
Sach: Then let's go! Who knows what that mean lady has done to her!
(Fade out on the boys hurrying out of the hall, with Louie following them. Fade in on the tower room. There's a puff of black light, and Sally and Zelda appear. Zelda holds Sally's arm.)
Sally: Let go of me! You got what you wanted. I came back with you.
Zelda: Yes, but you didn't listen to me in the first place and left the tower.
Sally: I just wanted to see what it was like outside!
Zelda: And I told you there is nothing worth while out there.
Sally: You lied! There are people out there! People who are nice to people. They have towns, and sing, and dance, and play, and work together! (Sighs) And there's five very sweet young men who adore me, even though we only met this morning.
Zelda: I'm afraid you know to much now, my dear.
Sally: (Moves back) What do you mean?
Zelda: *Stares at Sally* I'll show you what I mean.
Sally: What are you doing?
Zelda: What do you mean? Look at me!
Sally: I am! I see you. You have big eyes.
Zelda: *Growls, aggravated* Look deep into my eyes!
Sally: (Looks) You know, if I stare any harder, I might be able to see right through you.
Zelda: You need to hush! *touches Sally's throat*
(Sally tries to talk again...but nothing comes out. Her eyes widen.)
Zelda: You aren't so smug now, are you?
(Sally frowns and tries to move back...but she backs into a wall with nowhere to go.)
Zelda: And now, my dear, you need to learn a lesson in obeying your mother.
(Sally shakes her head and tries to duck towards the window, but Zelda yanks her by her hair. She pulls the long braids out of the snood it was in earlier. She writhes and struggles, trying to get Zelda to let her go.)
Zelda: Such pretty hair, but it's so long! No one has hair this long! You...you're a freak of nature!
(Sally shakes her head. She's not a freak. She doesn't know why her hair is this long, but she's not a freak.)
Zelda: And those boys don't really like you. They're just teasing you, especially the chubby one. I think he just has a thing for hair.
(Sally shakes her head, struggling. No, he loves her, and she him!)
*Zelda smirks and waves her hand as though using it to cut Sally's hair...and it does! Zelda holds the freed hair in her hand with a wide, evil grin on her face.*
(Sally gasps, her hand going to her head. Her hair is now cropped very, very short, almost right at the head. Why did she do that?)
Zelda: Ooooh, I have your hair now! That means I could trap that chubby boy. I do like them with a little meat on their bones. I bet he's been around, too. He must know LOTS of fun things we could do!
(Sally shakes her head. Don't hurt him! She loves him and wants him to be with her!)
Zelda: Oh, but I WANT to hurt him.
(Sally shakes her head, her eyes angry. No! She won't let her!)
Zelda: And how do you plan on stopping me? *Ties the hair to a nail in the tower and sends it out the window* I do hope he's on his way right now.
(Sally lunges angrily for Zelda.)
Zelda: *Waves a hand to paralyze Sally* Very foolish, my dear.
*The boys arrive at the tower to find Sally's hair already hanging down from the window.*
Sach: Look, she's ready for us!
Butch: Chief, I don't like this. It may be a trap. Remember, that witch has her!
Chuck: Yeah, I'm not so sure about this.
Whitey: I got a bad feeling.
Slip: I don't care. If that witch is holdin' 'er up there, I gotta do som'en! *Grabs ahold of the hair and climbs.*
Sach: Should we go with him? Sally might be in trouble!
Butch: I think he's walking into a trap.
Chuck: *sighs* I think so, too.
*Whitey just nods, frowning.*
Sach: Maybe we should go up an' protect him. Sally too. (He starts up)
*Back in the tower, we see Slip climb through the window.*
(But it's not Sally who emerges from the curtain that's been drawn across the room. It's Zelda.)
Slip: *His eyes narrow* You.
Zelda: Yes, me. (She goes up to him) What's wrong with me?
Slip: You ain't Sally. What'd you do wit' her?
Zelda: You want Sally? Here she is. (Pulls down the curtain to reveal the paralyzed, shorn Sally)
Slip: *His eyes widen* Sally!
Zelda: I have far more interesting uses for that hair of hers than she does.
Slip: You bitch. It isn't bad enough you've kept her locked in this tower. You have to take away the only thing she had in her hair. I don't care if ya are a witch. I'm gonna make you pay for what you've done to her, an' prob'ly numerous others.
Zelda: Not so fast. (She snaps her fingers - both the hair and the other boys appear in the tower. The Boys are chained to the wall. The hair is in her hands.)
Sach: Hey, what happened? One minute, I'm climbin', an' the next, I'm in here!
Slip: *Turns* Fellas!
Chuck: Let us go!
Zelda: First of all, let's get rid of this nuscense. She's caused me enough trouble. (She waves her hand over Sally. She disappears in a dark light.)
Slip: SALLY! *goes right up to Zelda* Bring her back. NOW.
Zelda: No. I've banished her to the Forbidden Forest outside of the kingdom. You'll never see your precious Sally again. (She picks up the hair) You boys, on the other hand, I'd like to keep.
Slip: No dice, bitch. I'd go to the end of the earth for Sally.
Zelda: That can be arranged! (She turns from Slip with the hair) Perhaps we won't start with you, then. There are so many more interesting choices. (She looks over the line of Boys...and stops at Chuck.) I think I could have fun with this one, don't you say?
Slip: *Pulls Zelda away* Get away from them. *Chuck gulps.*
Zelda: This upsets you, doesn't it? (Pulls away from him and goes back to Chuck; runs the hair across his cheeks) So pretty. So many things I could do with you....
Chuck: *Tries to pull back, but there's nowhere to go* Don't, please...
Slip: *Grabs Zelda’s wrist and turns her to face him* Get. Off. Of. HIM.
Zelda: Don't be so impatient! You'll get your turn. (She runs her free hand down his side...and into his pants)
*Chuck yelps, turning his head away and closing his eyes. Slip doesn't even bother saying anything. This time, he wraps both arms around Zelda's waist and bodily lifts her away from Chuck.*
Zelda: (She screams) You ass! I was having fun!
Slip: *He yells back* An' he weren't!
Zelda: I can see I'll have to teach you a lesson. (She waves her hand over Slip. He drops her in an instant, his knees buckling.)
Slip: *His knees buckle completely; he ends up on his hands and knees on the floor, gasping* The hell...
Chuck: No! Slip!
Zelda: I've stripped you of your strength. You can't lift anything now. (She picks up the long hair) Now to make sure he can't move. (We see her lean over him. When she moves, Slip's completely bound with Sally's hair...and there's still quite a bit left at the end.)
Butch: Don't hurt him! He's our friend!
Whitey: Stop, please!
Zelda: (Ignores them; takes the end of the hair and runs it over Slip's cheeks) Now to have some fun.
Slip: *Frowns* You bitch!
Zelda: That isn't nice. (She runs the hair down his chest)
Slip: *Still frowning* Don't care. It's true. *Tries to squirm again his bonds.* Stop that.
Zelda: (Runs the hair over him) I think you're having a good time. (Runs it down his pants)
Slip: *Gasps* No, stop! *tries to squirm* Get away, you bitch!
Zelda: I'm not going anywhere, and neither are you. (She lifts his chin) Look into my eyes.
Zelda: Look deeper...
Sach: (Mutters to Whitey) Do you think we could get to your took kit somehow? I know you have a lock pick in there.
Whitey: *Nods* We can try.
Slip: I don't wanna look into yer eyes!
Zelda: (Pulls him closer) Yes, you do! (Growls) Why isn't this working? It didn't work on Sally, either! It used to work on her all the time!
Slip: Because yer a bitch, that's why! *squirms* Gedoffame!
Zelda: (She tightens the hair) I need to teach you another lesson. (Runs the hair over his eyes) Now, what can you see?
Slip: *His eyes stare blankly ahead as he gasps* Nothin'. What...what did you do!?
Zelda: I blinded you. If you won't look into my eyes...you won't be able to see anything at all.
Sach: (Screams) NO! CHIEFY!
Butch: Whitey, hurry!
Slip: No... *blinks, as if it would make a difference* Noooo!
Whitey: I'm hurryin'!
Zelda: You're my slave now, chubby boy, as much as Sally was. You'll stay up in this tower with me...completely helpless.
*Slip whimpers, tears beginning to stream from his sightless eyes.*
Sach: (As Whitey gets the took kit) Oooh, come on! We haveta get the Chief outta here, before she takes somethin' else away from him!
Whitey: *Removes the pick and starts working on Sach's shackles* She's got too much all ready.
*Chuck is staring helplessly, trying to will Slip on.*
Sach: (As his shackles fall away) Thanks, Whitey. You do the other two. I'm gonna save the Chief.
Whitey: Right! *sets about freeing the others*
Sach: (He grabs Zelda bodily by the back of her dress) Look, lady, I don't think he likes you crawling all over him. Matter of fact, I don't, either.
Zelda: *Yelps* Hey, how did you get free?
*Whitey frees Chuck and Butch. Whitey and Butch join Sach, while Chuck goes to Slip.*
Sach: My pal Whitey always carries his took kit with him!
Whitey: They don't call me the walkin' tool kit for nothin'!
*Chuck is trying to comfort Slip.*
Butch: What are we gonna do with her?
Whitey: How about a little taste of her own medicine and tie her up?
Sach: Yeah! If she likes this tower so much, we can leave her here.
Zelda: How about not?
Butch: How about you don't have any say in this? Chuck, hand me that hair.
Chuck: *Joins them with the hair; he's pissed* Gladly.
Butch: Whitey, you and Sach see if you can help Slip. Chuck and I can take care of this.
Whitey: *Nods* Okay.
Sach: (Nods) The poor Chiefy needs us! (He and Whitey help the weakened Slip to his feet.)
Slip: Who...who's there?
*Slip ends up patting Whitey's head.*
Slip: Hi, Whitey.
Sach: It's us, Chief! Whitey n' Sach! The Walkin' Took Kit n' Eagle Beak!
Whitey: We got ya, Chief. We're gonna get ya outta here.
Slip: *Reaches over to Sach and pats his nose* Yeah, that's you, Sach.
Sach: Don't worry, Chief. We're gonna find Sally, and we're gonna make you well again.
Slip: *Nods* We gotta...find Sally... *slumps a little* Sally...
Whitey: *Almost loses his grip on him* Whoa, Chief!
Sach: (He takes tight hold of Slip's arm) Don't worry, Chief. We'll find her.
Whitey: That's right, Chief.
Slip: Some Chief... *shakes his head*
Butch: (He and Chuck pull away to reveal Zelda on the floor, bound and gagged with hair) That should hold her long enough for us to get out of here.
Sach: (He squeezes Slip's arm) Don't do this to yourself, Slip. Sally wouldn't want you to.
Slip: *His eyes are watering again* I can't.
Chuck: *Gives Slip a hug* Slip, please hold it together!
Butch: (Does the same) We're here for you. And I'm Butch. (Puts his hand on his face) We're going to help you through this.
Sach: We'll find Sally together!
Slip: *Sniffs as his eyes blink, but he just keeps staring straight ahead* Get me outta here, fellas, please.
Sach: Whitey, I hope you still have that rope!
Whitey: *Pulls out the rope* Of course! *Ties it at the window and lets it out.* All set.
Sach: Chief, get on my back. I'll haul you down.
(Whitey and Butch are already heading down the rope.)
Slip: Sach... *blinks and tries to turn in his direction* yer nuts. Thanks.
Sach: Over here, Chief! (He gently takes his wrists and turns around) Think you can find my back and neck?
Slip: I oughta know where yer head is, at least. *grabs onto Sach* How's that?
Sach: (His voice is stuffy) Ooh, ooh, by nobe! (He moves Slip's hands to under his shoulders) There. Better.
Slip: Sorry... *sniffs* it's too big a target.
*Chuck gives a soft chuckle.*
Sach: I understand. I know it is. Ok, Chief. We're gettin' outta here. (He turns around and starts down the rope, with Slip clinging to his back.)
*Chuck heads out last. Before he disappears past the window, he gives the bound and gagged Zelda one last angry glare, then continues on.*