*We begin late morning at the boys' clubhouse. Chuck is alone, seated in a rocking chair, gently moving. He has his chin in one hand, staring ahead of him. His briefcase sits unopened on the battered table in front of him.*
(That's when the camera seems to get shaky for a moment...and gets in VERY close to Chuck's face!)
*Chuck sticks his tongue out.*
Sach: (Familiar croaking voice from behind the camera) Now, that isn't very nice, Chuckie. Come on, say somethin' good.
Chuck: Somethin' good.
Sach: Yeah! But don't say anythin' our mothers shouldn't hear. This is gonna go on TV, ya know.
Chuck: *Raises an eyebrow* You're recording?
Sach: Nahh, I'm practicin'. But there are kids upstairs, ya know.
Chuck: Good, because if you were recording, I'd have to hurt you.
Sach: Aww, you ain't that ugly.
(We see a familiar finger flip the camera to "on"...though Chuck doesn't.)
Chuck: Yes, I am. Sach, come on, I'm not in the mood.
Sach: (Voice becomes more sad) Chuck, are you still upset about the writer chick?
Chuck: Yeah, I am. I was gonna go through some of my pieces, then decided I just didn't feel like it.
Sach: Maybe I could use them on my show!
Chuck: No, Sach, you can't.
Sach: Aww, come on! This is gonna be great! I'm gonna sell it to all those new TV stations that are springin' up in New York! I'm so glad Slip made a deal and rented this camera for the next few days. I'm gonna be the greatest cameraman this city ever saw!
Chuck: How is it that Slip rented the camera and YOU have it?
Sach: I'm borrowin' it while Chiefy talks to Louie n' Sally.
Chuck: *sighs* All right, Sach, enough already, please. I really just wanna be alone.
Sach: Isn't there anything I can do to make ya feel better? You've been mopin' around for the past couple of days, and it's no fun.
Chuck: *Shrugs* I don't know, Sach.
Sach: Wanna write a script? You could write a soap opera, or a western, or a... (Grins) Oooh! Ooh! Sing for me! You're a good singer!
Sach: Want me to sing?
Sach: How about dance?
Chuck: Sach, please, I'm not in the mood...
Sach: Ok, you dance, then!
Chuck: Sach, are you SURE you're not recording?
Sach: Nahh. You just need to stretch your legs. You've barely done anything ever since you had that lunch with that chick at Louie's! (He crosses his fingers behind his back)
Chuck: You're right.
Sach: Why don't you come out with me and conduct some man-on-the-street interviews? Maybe you'll meet some cute girls!
Chuck: I don't know...
Sach: At least come back to Louie's with me.
Chuck: Fine, Sach. I'll go. *Grabs his briefcase* Are you SURE that thing's not on?
Sach: Nahh. (He switches it off) Hey, wanna carry it? My arm's tired. This thing sure is heavy!
Chuck: No thanks.
(The two clomp upstairs. Sach is slower, thanks to the large camera he carries.)
Sach: Geez, this thing weighs a ton.
Chuck: It is huge.
Sach: I feel like I'm carryin' a ten-ton blimp around.
Chuck: Sach, why did I ever think she really liked me?
Sach: 'Cause she's pretty and nice and liked your writin'.
Chuck: Am I that desperate?
Sach: Nahh. Anyone would react like that to a pretty woman who was smart n' nice n' liked your writin'.
Chuck: You said that already.
Sach: Yeah, but you ain't hearin'. You just got kinda overwhelmed, I guess.
Chuck: I guess so. *Sighs* Oh, I don't know. I'm just so confused.
Sach: (Shrugs) I can understand that. I doubt you ever met a chick like her before. She probably never met a guy like you, either.
Chuck: I'm sure she's met better guys than me, but she...she was so close to my dream girl, Sach.
Sach: What is your dream girl, anyway?
Chuck: Uh, well...I thought it was her.
Sach: Nice, pretty, really into writin' an' books?
Sach: I'd like a girl with brains...and other things.
Chuck: Right now I'd settle for a girl who actually likes me.
Sach: You'll find her! There's millions of girls in New York!
Chuck: *Whines* Not helping.
Sach: I'll help you find her!
*Chuck just whines again.*
Sach: What's wrong with that? I'm a pretty good matchmaker.
Sach: You could always ask one of the waitresses at Louie's out.
Chuck: Not for a while, Sach. I need to get over this first.
Sach: Louie's got some cute waitresses. Chiefy dates Sally.
Chuck: I know he is.
Sach: Yeah, and they're gonna get married someday. I know so.
Chuck: Yeah, I know it, too. *sniffs*
Sach: If Chiefy can find a girl, anyone can.
Chuck: I don't wanna talk about this anymore. *sniffs again*
Sach: Then let's talk about makin' TV shows. What kind do you wanna see?
Chuck: I don't know.
Sach: How about soap operas? My mother loves those.
Chuck: I'm LIVING a soap opera, Sach!
Sach: Then you'd know how to write one!
Chuck: I'm not gonna do that.
Sach: How about one of those sci-fi shows, like "Buck Rogers?"
Chuck: *Shrugs* I don't know, Sach.
Sach: Or ooh, a western! I get to be the Lone Ranger!
Chuck: Be whomever you want, Sach. I'm not stopping you.
Sach: Who do you want to be?
Chuck: *Sighs* Anyone but me.
Sach: How about the sheriff? Or the commander of the space ship?
Chuck: Sach, please...
Sach: (Points to Louie's window) Oop! Time to become Sach the Roving Reporter again. Chuckie, you can be my announcer.
Chuck: Do I have to?
Sach: You can say longer words than I can.
Chuck: Right now, I don't remember any of them.
Sach: Well, you'd better. (He hefts the camera on his shoulder...and our view immediately switches from both men to a shaky front-view of Chuck) Here we come! Open the door for me, my good announcer!
*Chuck sighs and holds the door open.*
Chuck: *With no emotion* May I present...Sach.
Sach: (Off-camera; it shoves over to Slip and Louie first) And now, I bring you...our Chief. A great man. A visionary. You might even say, he's mediocre.
Slip: Yer suckin' up again, Sach.
Louie: Sach, be careful! If you break that thing, it'll probably cost you more than you get in a century to replace it!
Slip: An' I'll break you.
Sach: I wouldn't break it! Maybe the Chief might by lookin' at the lens the wrong way....
*A fist suddenly looms large in the lens.*
Sach: (As the camera draws back) Ooop! Can't hurt me, Chiefy, or you'll hurt the camera! (He immediately swings over to Whitey and Bobby at their usual table) How about these guys? What's on your minds today, fellas?
Bobby: Who do you think you are, Cecil B DeMille?
Sach: Nahh, I don't go in for bringin' Rome down. I like movies you can see all in one day.
Sach: Say, I asked Chuck a good question back there. Maybe you guys can answer, too. What do you look for in a girl?
Bobby: She's breathing and wearing a skirt.
Sach: What's wrong with a girl in shorts?
Sach: Aw, come on, Whitey! (The camera gets closer to him) Everybody, this is my good friend Whitey. Say hi to the folks at home, Whitey!
Whitey: *Waves* Hi, folks at home! And I like girls in skirts, shorts, pants...I'm not picky!
Slip: *As Chuck sits next to him at the counter; shrugs* I like Sally.
Sally: (Grins as Sach swings the camera back to the counter) And I like Slip. (Gives him a kiss)
*Slip's cheeks tinge with red. Chuck frowns and turns away from them.*
(That's when another waitress comes out of the back room. She's a pretty young woman of medium height, with long black hair, deep blue eyes, and porcelain skin. She wears a jade-green dress with a ruffled collar. She's probably about the same age as Sally and slightly younger than the Boys. Sach whistles and immediately swings the camera over to her.)
Waitress: Hi there! I'm Rachel. I'm going to take your orders today... (raises an eyebrow at Sach and his camera) Um, are we making a movie?
Sach: No, a TV show!
Waitress: What's going on?
Sach: I'm filmin' a TV show 'bout the Bowery. I'm askin' questions on the street. What do you look for in a boyfriend?
Rachel: (Smiles) Well, he has to be nice, and smart, and well-read. I read a lot. I'm only a waitress during the day. In the afternoons, I take singing and dancing lessons, and three nights a week, I appear in nightclubs as a dancer and chorus girl. He can't mind someone who's smart and wants a career.
Sach: Oooh, beautiful and brilliant! I love it!
*A slow smirk begins to spread across Slip's face.*
Rachel: Why are you all staring at me? Do I have something in my teeth?
Sach: Rachel, do you have a boyfriend?
Rachel: No. Not yet, anyway.
(Bobby elbows Chuck.)
*Chuck looks up. He wasn't paying attention...*
Slip: *Still smirking* Want one? *nods toward Chuck*
Rachel: (Looks at Sally) Is this some kind of practical joke?
Sally: Not at the moment. They just aren't very good at subtle hints.
Sach: You're perfect for my pal Chuckie!
Rachel: I am, am I?
Chuck: *his eyes widen* Huh?
Slip: Ya both like the same things.
Chuck: Fellas, please... don't...
Rachel: (Sighs and turns to Chuck) They seem to expect something. Why don't we meet somewhere private after my shift?
Bobby: (Nods) Yeah. You never know, Chuck.
Sach: Oh, isn't this beautiful? (He gets closer to Chuck) Two people who were meant for each other... (We hear sobbing behind the camera)
Chuck: *Nods, a mixture of sadness and annoyance on his face* Okay.
Rachel: What's wrong there? You look like your best friend died.
Sach: (Still sobbing) The woman he loved didn't love him! (Suddenly, our view of the camera gets wet.)
*Chuck puts his head in one hand.*
Slip: *Growls* Sach...
Louie: (He gets in front of the camera and hands Sach a handkerchief) Here, Sachula. You'll rust that thing.
Sach: Thanks, Louie. I knew you were a pal. (A hand goes behind the lens and wipes at something....then in front of it and wipes the lens. The picture is clear again) Much better. (Turns to Slip) What does the brother and the Chiefy have to say about his little brother's new romance?
Slip: *Glares at Sach* Put the camera down an' I'll tell you.
Sach: Now, now. No words you can't say on television.
Louie: Sachula, I really think you should turn off the camera...
Slip: Turn it off NOW!
Chuck: Slip, please...it's okay...
Slip: No, it ain't, Chuck. He don't see how much he's botherin' ya wit' this, so I'm gonna show him.
Chuck: Fine... *slides off the stool and goes to a booth in the back*
Sach: Chiefy, watch your blood pressure.
Louie: Ooh, this is gonna get ugly. Tell me when it's over. (Hides his eyes)
Rachel: (She slides into the booth with Chuck) Are you guys always this much fun when you're on camera?
Chuck: *Still frowning; shakes his head* Sach is always like this.
Sach: (We see Slip in full-on rage mode) Come on, Chiefy. Smile pretty for the camera!
Slip: Yer gonna be smilin' wit' NO TEETH! *reaches out for a handful of Sach's shirt*
Sach: (Pulls away) Now now, Chiefy, remember the camera! You don't want to have to pay for this, do ya?
Slip: It almost might be worth it.
Sach: (Hands Whitey the camera) Oop! Whitey, you take this. Use it with pride.
*Whitey just nods, moving away, though the camera is still pointed at them.*
Slip: *Latches onto Sach's jacket with both hands; doesn't get a full grip, but it's good enough to pull Sach to him* Sach...you are...so...CARELESS! Don't you know Chuck's hurtin'? So help me, Sach...you may be my best friend, but Chuck's my brother, aní right now I'm ready to throw ya across the damn room.
Sach: Ok, ok! I didn't mean to hurt nobody! I was just tryin' to get a good shot for my TV news show!
Rachel: (Grins at Chuck) I'd say they could sell this to TV, but there might be too much violence.
*Chuck tries to grin, but he's over Sach's antics. He just sighs as he puts his chin in his hands.*
Sach: Chief, I didn't mean nuthin' by it! Honest!
Slip: Then use yer brain!
Sach: I won't have one to use if you spill it all over the place!
Slip: *Shakes Sach, then lets him slide from his grip* Just leave Chuck alone, a'right?
Sach: Ok, ok. (Pulls away and straightens his shirt, then leans over Whitey and mutters) Did you get all that?
*Whitey just nods, wide eyed.*
Sach: And Chiefy says he's the sweetest guy around. Next time he starts sayin' stuff like that, I'll run this little movie.
Whitey: He's gonna kill you.
Sach: It'll be worth it.
Rachel: (Turns to Chuck) Seriously...would you like to meet me somewhere after work? Maybe somewhere out in the open, like Central Park.
Chuck: *Lifts his head from his hands* Really? You really wanna meet me?
Rachel: Sure! You seem like a nice guy. You're taking this whole thing pretty well, anyway. Most guys would be reacting the way your brother did.
Chuck: Thanks. *brief nod* I like Central Park.
Rachel: We could buy a hot dog from a vendor and go for a walk in some open place.
(Bobby pokes Whitey, who pokes Sach. All three turn to Chuck and Rachel.)
Chuck: *Another brief nod* Okay. I haven't had much of food or fresh air the last few days.
Rachel: We'll get some together. (She smiles at him and goes to handle customers.)
Sach: (Slides where she was) She sure is pretty, isn't she, Chuck?
Sach: Chuck? (He waves his hands over Chuck's eyes) Oh boy. (He grins) This IS gonna be fun!
Chuck: *Grabs Sach's wrist* Don't push it, Sach.
Sach: I ain't gonna push it. That's your girl! I won't do nuthin'. Not me! (We cut to his fingers crossing behind his back as the camera fades out)