(We open amid the hustle and bustle of Coney Island. People bark for rides, games, stores, and attractions. Children beg their parents for funnel cake or candy apples. Well...children aren't the only ones begging for food, as we discover as the Bowery Boys, along with Louie, turn the corner and head into the camera's sight.)
Sach: Oh please, Chiefy? Just one more candy apple! I can't get enough of 'em, an' we are gettin' close to Halloween!
Slip: You've already had ten of 'em!
Sach: One more ain't gonna hurt me!
Louie: But it might hurt my wallet!
Butch: (He's eating popcorn) Maybe we should do somethin' else.
Chuck: Like somethin' to get Sach's mind off food.
Slip: We don't have all day.
Sach: How 'bout we go in the candy shop again?
Louie: No! NO! You ate a whole bag of Walnettos and Turkish Taffy the last time we went in one of them!
Butch: How do you do it without getting sick, Sach?
Sach: It's a gift.
Whitey: My best friend with the cast iron stomach!
Gabe: *Walks over to them* Hey fellas! How are you enjoying one of the last days of the season?
Sach: Oh boy, we're having a great time!
Louie: Hello, Gabe. I wish my wallet was.
Butch: How's the interviews going?
Gabe: Going great! The crowd's having a great time.
Slip: Wish I could say I was.
Sach: You're not havin' a great time, Chief? I thought everyone always had a great time at Coney Island.
Slip: *Rolls his eyes* Not wit' you around.
Sach: Oooh, Chief, look! (Points to a fortune teller's booth) Let's go in there!
Louie: Sachula, that's a waste of money. Remember what happened the time you and Whitey got involved with mediums?
Sach: Yeah, but this is a real one! Besides, that was sorta fun. I got to meet a ghost!
Slip: Ain't none of them are real, Sach!
Chuck: Sach, you were the only one who could SEE the ghost.
Sach: 'Cause you guys ain't true believers.
Whitey: I am! Why couldn't I see him?
Sach: Maybe he liked me better n' you.
Butch: (Grins at Slip) What harm could it do, Chief? We'll go in, listen to her, have a good laugh, and leave.
Slip: *Sighs* Fine. Letís get this over with.
Sach: Wanna come with us, Gabe? Might be a good story!
Gabe: Sure! Besides, I haven't had much of a chance to see anything.
(Sach moves the curtain, and Gabe goes in after the others. Sach follows him.)
Slip: I hate this.
Butch: (Shrugs as they go in) Let's just humor Sach. Maybe it'll make him forget his stomach.
Chuck: *Shakes his head* Ever since Mama Parelli got taken, Slip's been even more against all this psychic stuff than he was before.
(The room is decorated in shades of dark blue, purple, and black, with beaded curtains and lots of fringe. A swarthy older woman in bright Gypsy clothes, with a scarf around her neck and rings on her fingers, sits behind a large glass ball.)
Louie: (Shivers) This place is giving me the heebie-jeebies.
Sach: It's awfully dark in here.
Whitey: Too dark.
Gypsy Woman: Sit down, gentlemen. (Smiles reassuringly at Slip) Don't worry, my dear boy. I wouldn't harm you or your friends, or fleece you, for that matter.
Sach: See, Chief? She can read minds!
Slip: I'll stay standin', thanks. *folds his arms*
Chuck: *Mutters to Butch* This may not go well.
Butch: (Makes a face) No kidding.
Gypsy Woman: Very well, Terrence Mahoney. The rest of you may sit down.
*Slip frowns, hearing his real name.*
Sach: She knew your name, Chief! (Sits)
Slip: *To Sach* Shudup.
Gypsy Woman: You're the stubborn one, aren't you, Mr. Mahoney? The one who commands this group.
Slip: What's it to ya? *Makes a face* And I ain't stubborn.
*Chuck rolls his eyes. Gabe grins a little.*
Gypsy Woman: You don't believe in my powers, do you?
Sach: Chiefy doesn't believe in anyone's powers.
Slip: No, I don't. I don't wanna be here.
Gypsy Woman: You're afraid that I may be out to harm you, like those phony mediums harmed some of the older women in your neighborhood.
Slip: Now yer catchin' on.
Slip: Ain't you got som'en for some-a these other guys?
Gypsy Woman: (She smiles at Chuck) Don't worry about your new girlfriend. She's a good woman. She was badly hurt by her last lover, but she'll come around to you.
Chuck: *Grins* Now that is good news.
Gypsy: (She turns to Louie) You can relax, little man. You'll have an extra week away from your wife. Her sister will need more help with her baby.
Louie: (Nods) That's right. Mama is away for the week.
Slip: Lucky guess.
Gypsy Woman: (Turns to Gabe) Yes, you'll keep this job for a while. You go through jobs the way most people go through toothpaste...but you should be on your way to a raise soon.
Gabe: *Smiles* That's wonderful news!
Slip: He's already had the job longer than any of the others.
Gypsy Woman: (Turns to Whitey) You're interested in radios and electronics, aren't you, Whitmore?
Whitey *Grins widely and nods* I am!
*Slip is now wandering around the room behind the others, disgusted with what he's hearing.*
Gypsy Woman: You'll soon be seeing a promising career in the field of radios, televisions, and other electronic devices.
Whitey: I will!?
*Slip mutters something that sounds like "don't get his hopes up."*
Gypsy Woman: (She turns to Butch) Don't be hard on yourself. You feel like you get left out, because you're the youngest and not as tough as the others. You'll get your chance to prove your worth to your Chief soon enough.
Butch: (Sighs, then, with a small smile as his eyes slide to Slip) Thanks.
Slip: *Turns to the Gypsy Woman* Are you done reflating their hopes?
Gypsy Woman: (Turns to Sach) And my dear Mr. Jones, who feels so inferior to his best friend, will soon have the chance to save his life.
Sach: (Grins) I wonder what I'll save you from? Hmm. Maybe a runaway hot dog cart on 3rd street!
Slip: I ain't gonna need no rescuin'. *Points at the Gypsy Woman* An' yer a phony!
Gypsy Woman: You, Mr. Mahoney, aren't as tough as you like to appear. Under that strong veneer is a very soft and easily hurt heart. You're intelligent and quick-witted...but you also have a lightning-fast temper and a tendency to rush into trouble thoughtlessly.
Slip: *Eyes narrow as he steps forward* What's it to ya? Yer just tryin' to scam innocent people like all the others. You ain't no different from any of them.
Gypsy Woman: I have no intention of scamming you. I am only telling you what's in your futures...and your hearts.
Slip: You stay outta my heart, a'right?
Gypsy Woman: Are you afraid that someone might read the truth about you...that you're a sweet man who has lived a very hard life and only puts on a tough-guy shell to keep people at an arm's length?
Slip: It ain't a shell or an act! This is me, aní you ain't tellin' otherwise. I am the truth, aní there ain't nutin' else.
Gypsy Woman: Then why are you the leader of these men? Men who are just as hurt or as troubled as you. One your own brother, two innocents whom many people consider to be simpletons, one barely a child, one a womanizer, one the old man who alternately mentors you and screams for you to get a real job.
Louie: I don't scream at them. I just tell them that every now and then, they actually have to pay for their banana splits.
Slip: *Leans down in her face* Because they're my friends, aní they ain't NONE of those things you just called 'em.
Gypsy Woman: Except for possibly Moreno, who does go through women even more than he does jobs, that's the way most people see you. I can see it isn't true...but you're afraid to tell the world that.
Slip: I ain't afraid of nutin'. You need ta shudup.
Gypsy Woman: You're afraid that the world will see that you're not so tough or smart as you think you are...and maybe even expect you to find a job like your father and their fathers had that requires you to do more than sit in a chair and dictate orders.
*Slip takes a swing at the Gypsy Woman.*
Gypsy Woman: (Nimbly ducks away from Slip) There's that famous temper. Hitting an old woman! That temper's getting the best of you. You really should be taught a lesson.
Sach: (Gulps) I don't like the sound of that.
Louie: Slip, don't cause trouble.
Slip: What're you gonna do? Spank me?
*Chuck slaps his forehead.*
Gypsy Woman: No. I will curse you, and all of you.
Gabe: Excuse me?
Gypsy Woman: You think that because I am a woman, I cannot bring harm to you. Well, I curse all of you to know what it's like on the other side of the coin (turns to Gabe) especially you, Gabe Moreno, who casually throws off women like old socks.
Slip: Sure, lady. Go ahead, curse us! Yer curse is as fake as you are!
Gypsy Woman: You shall see in the morning, Terrence Mahoney.
Slip: I'm oughtta here. *leaves the room*
Louie: (He reaches into his wallet) Unlike Slip, I have manners. Here.
Gypsy Woman: (Shakes her head) No, Mr. Dumbrowski. I cannot accept your money. Let's just call this...a gift and a lesson learned.
Louie: (He shakes her hand) Well, thank you, ma'am. That's very kind of you.
(The others have already joined Slip on the boardwalk. Sach frowns.)
Sach: Boy Chief, that ol' gypsy lady sure had your number!
Butch: But I liked what she said to the rest of us.
Slip: I ain't talkin' about it.
Sach: (Turns to Gabe) How many girlfriends HAVE you had?
Gabe: *Turns red and shrugs* I don't know.
Slip: I've had enough fun for one day.
Louie: And I'm out of money. Let's catch the next subway home.
(Fade out on the boys heading for the subway, Slip still fuming. Fade in on the Boys' tenement apartment. It's two rooms and a cramped kitchen. Other "rooms" are curtained off with faded calico. The camera moves behind one of the curtains.)
*We see the first room is relatively messy, but filled with lots of books. There's a lump under the covers on the bed snoring faintly. An alarm clock goes off on the night stand. A hand reaches out from under the covers to turn it off. The fingers are short and slightly chubby, but feminine. A groan in a feminine voice emanates from under the covers, which are rudely yanked awake to reveal A LOT of long, straight black hair.
*She sits up, long hair falling over their face, but the pajamas are a set of very familiar green and white striped MAN'S pajamas. The woman stands and her way across the "room" passing a mirror. She returns to stare into the mirror flips the hair from her face. She has a round chubby face with black eyebrows. She rubs at an eye, then the other. She pats at herself, finding a slightly chubby body, but looks down through the neck of the pajama top...and screams.*
(Her screams bring in another female figure. This one's tall and lanky, with long blondish-brown curls and no bust to speak of...and an unusually long nose for a woman. She holds a blue sheet around her and a teddy bear under one arm.)
Woman: Geez Chief, what's with the scream? You scared Pete... (But then the girl turns to her; her eyes widen) Pardon me, Miss. I didn't know there were ladies in here! Gee, you're kinda pretty. You almost look like the Chief!
Black-Haired Woman: *Narrows her eyes at the tall woman* I am the Chief! You...what're you doin' wit' Sach's bear?
Blonde-Haired Woman: But this is my bear! (Frowns) And you're not the Chief! You're a pretty girl!
Black-Haired Woman: Yeah, well, you ain't Sach! Yer kinda ugly, actually.
Blonde-Haired Woman: I ain't ugly! I'm (she strikes a pose) debonair.
Black-Haired Woman: You ain't debonair. And I am Slip! *Pulls the pendant she wears* See? I still got this!
Blonde-Haired Woman: (Her eyes widen) H...how did you get that? That's the Chief's pendant! It's the one thing he loves more than life itself!
Black-Haired Woman: *Growls, but it loses its force with the feminine voice* I AM SLIP. I never take the damn thing off! Sach would know that!
Sach: I am Sach! I do know that! But I also know that Slip ain't a girl! You're a girl! (Pokes Slip's chest) He ain't got anythin' like that on him.
Slip: Yer as flat as Sach, but even Sach knows I'm Slip!
Sach: If I'm not Sach, then who am I?
Slip: Some chick, as far as I'm discerned.
Sach: But I'm not a chick! (Looks at his chest) My chest don't look nuthin' like yours.
Slip: Yeah, well... *Looks down at his chest again* I dunno what happened, but these aren't mine! Not really! I just woke up like this.
Sach: So did I! (His eyes widen) Slip...we're chicks!
*A slender woman with blond hair so pale itís almost white woman runs in. Her hair is shorter and stands up all over the place. She has a man's nightshirt on.*
White-Haired Woman: Slip, Sach... *pauses* Oh...uh, hi, ladies...
Sach: (She frowns) Ok, now who are you?
Slip: White hair...Whitey?
Whitey: *Nods fast* Yeah! Slip? *points at Sach* Sach?
Sach: Yeah, that's me! (He frowns) You're a chick, too?
Whitey: What happened to us?!
Slip: Calm down, Whitey.
Sach: We don't know. (Points at Slip's chest) But he's got more than we do, an' I'm jealous.
Slip: *Plants his fists on his hips* You can HAVE some of my chest, cuz I don't WANT it.
Female Voice: Hello? (A very short blonde woman pokes her head in. She has long, thick honey-colored curls, a cherubic face, and a chest that's nearly as big as Slip's. She wears blue menís pajamas that are a bit strained in the bosom. Her eyes widen when she sees the three women) Am I in the wrong apartment? (Looks at herself) Am I in the wrong body?
Slip: Dunno. Were you formally a man, too?
Blond-Haired Woman: I was as of last night!
Slip: *Folds his arms over his over-sized chest...and cringes* So were we.
Blond-Haired Woman: Chief? It's me, Butch! (Looks at herself) Or I was.
Butch: I thought I was, anyway.
Sach: This is crazy! What's going on?
*Another black-haired woman run in. She wears yellow pajamas about a size too big. She's slightly taller than Slip, but thinner and with half the chest. She has thick black eyebrows and a familiar birthmark over her right eyebrow.*
Black-Haired Skinny Woman: What's going ON!?
Butch: (She blushes) That's what we're tryin' to figure out, ma'am.
Slip: *Shakes his head* Chuck...
Chuck: That's who I THOUGHT I was!
Butch: What are we gonna do? We can't walk around town like this!
Sach: Yeah! I need a dress, or somethin'. (Grins at Slip) And the Chiefette needs some underthings for her chest.
Slip: You make ONE MORE crack about my chest, aní yer gonna see it up close aní personal as I pretend to be a football player aní yer the disposition!
Sach: You can't do that! Girls don't play football! (Grins) But you could catch it with your chest now.
*Slip starts to reach for Sach's throat...*
Female Voice: (Behind the front door) Lemme in! Please, help! Anybody! (Noisy knocking)
Sach: You can't kill me now, Chiefette! We've got company! You wouldn't want blood on the carpet when there's company!
Slip: *Growls as he pauses* Only cuz that voice sounds desperaging!
Chuck: Who's gonna answer the door?
Slip: I'll do it. But first... *Snatches a robe off a nearby chair and puts it on* I ain't givin' anyone else a free show. *Slip goes to the door and opens it.*
(A small, plump older woman stands on the other side of it. Her grey-white hair is pulled back in a messy knot. She wears a blue floral dress that's a bit too long for her and a floral hat tilted rakishly over one side of her head. She's screaming at the top of her lungs.)
Older Woman: You! Look at what you've... (Her eyes widen) You're not my boys. You're...you're all ladies. Just like me.
Slip: *Eyes narrow* "My boys..." *eyes widen* Louie!?
Louie: (Nods) Yes...no. I was last night, when I went to bed. When I woke up, I had hair in my eyes and (indicates his not-inconsiderable chest) these! :
Slip: Then ya came to the right place, Louie. *sighs* It's me, Slip.
Louie: Slip? (She squints at Slip) It does kind of look like you. As a woman. (Looks around) And these are the other boys?
Sach: Girls now.
Slip: Yeah, it's them, some now uglier than they were.
Louie: This...this is too much. (She plops on the sofa) When I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror...I saw a lady. Another body. (Points to his chest) This body. How did I end up in this body? I have a shop to run! What am I gonna tell my customers?
Slip: Yer Louie's sister.
Sach: Where did you get the dress? It looks good on you.
Louie: I found it in Gertrude's wardrobe. Thank goodness she didn't... (His eyes widen.) Gertie! Oh my god, what am I gonna tell her? How am I gonna explain how she's now married to a woman? I think that's illegal in some places!
Sach: Ok, you got me there. (Looks at Slip) How are you gonna explain this to Sally?
Slip: *plops next to Louie* I don't even wanna THINK about that right now.
Chuck: At least Louie HAS clothes! What about us?
Sach: Yeah! We can't go around in our own clothes! We'd look indecent!
Butch: I don't think Slip n' I will even fit in our shirts now.
Slip: *Stares down at her chest, shaking her head* Doubt it.
Louie: I'd offer you more of Mama's clothes, but I don't think there's enough left for all of you.
*There's another knock that sounds more like pounding on the door.*
Female Voice: *Behind the front door* Fellas! Let me in! It's important!
Sach: Wow, it's early for a party!
Slip: Great. *Opens the door* Yeah?
*A tall, slender, dark-haired woman stands at the door. Her eyes are wide. She wears a long overcoat, her arms folded.*
Dark-Haried Woman: Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am. I was looking for my friends. I thought this was their apartment.
Slip: Wait, I'm gettin' good at this. Yer Gabe.
Louie: Oh no. You too, Gabe?
(Sach takes one look at Gabe, and she can't help it. Gabe is stunning, with his long legs, thick eyelashes, and masses of dark curls. Her rubber lips go.)
Gabe: Or at least I USED to be! *pauses as he hears the rubber lips* I hear Sach!
Slip: *Jerks a thumb* Back there.
Sach: Yeah. And you're gorgeous.
Gabe: I'm wearin' an overcoat!
Butch: Actually, Gabe...you did end up bein' a looker.
Slip: *Shakes her head* Get in here, before we detract any more detention! *grabs Gabe's arm and pulls her in.*
Gabe: *Spins around* Based on how you act, I'm gonna guess you're Slip.
Slip: How'd ya know?
Gabe: Lucky guess.
Butch: I guess you woke up and discovered the same thing we did.
Gabe: Yes. What happened to us?
Louie: We're trying to figure out the same thing. (His eyes nearly pop right out.) Boys...uh, Girls...the curse. That gypsy woman. Don't you remember yesterday evening?
Sach: Yeah. The Chiefette wouldn't let me have one more candy apple.
Slip: *Groans* Stop callin' me that, Sach!
Sach: Why? It fits ya now!
Slip: It's the only thing that DOES fit! My pajamas barely fit!
Butch: Mine don't, either!
Louie: We're going to have to figure out a way to take all of you shopping. You can't walk around in pajamas and overcoats.
Chuck: Or bathrobes.
Sach: (Starts to cry) I don't want to go shopping! I wanna be a man again!
*Whitey pats Sach's shoulder.*
Butch: We've gotta get back to that gypsy woman and get her to lift the curse!
Sach: (She's still crying) Now do you believe, Chief?
Slip: YES! I was WRONG! Okay?
Louie: As soon as we get you some clothes, we'll go to Coney Island and find that woman.
Gabe: So, how do we get some clothes?
Louie: (Gulps) There's one other person I can think of who might be able to help us. Do all of you have overcoats?
Slip: Yeah. Why?
Louie: I'm gonna take you to Sally.
Slip: Aw no...
Gabe: She's the only one, Slip!
Louie: Slip, she's the only one who knows all of you and would probably believe this. She knows about some of the stranger things you've been through.
Slip: *Plants her fists on her hips, exaggerating her oversized bust* I ain't goin' like this.
Louie: (He tosses him a coat from the coat rack) Then cover it.
(Fade out on a none-too-happy Slip pulling the coat over him. Fade out on another apartment. This one is also small, but it's cozier and has a few more rooms. The furniture is obviously second-hand, but it's in better shape than the boys' things. Sally comes out of a bedroom, humming to herself. She checks a mirror, patting her hair, as we hear a knock on the door.)
Sally: Yes? Who is it?
Louie: Um, Sally...it's your uncle. Or aunt.
Sally: What? But Aunt Gertrude is in Brooklyn right now! (She goes to her door and opens it...to reveal Louie with the other six behind him, all wearing overcoats. She squints) Oh my god. Uncle Louie?
Louie: (He blushes) I guess I'm your Aunt Louise now.
Sally: (Grins) And who are your friends... (Frowns; they're all wearing overcoats, some better-fitting than others) ...and why are they all wearing coats?
Louie: It's a long story, my Sally.
Sach: 'Cause we ain't chicks. (He grins) I'm Sach.
Sally: (Her eyes widen...but then, she grins) I'd know that nose anywhere.
Gabe: *Half smile* I'm Gabe.
Whitey: *Turns a shade of red* Whitey here.
Butch: (He waves) Butch.
Chuck: *Half-hearted wave* Chuck.
*Slip just remains with her arms folded.*
Sally: Then you... (She turns to Slip...and raises her eyebrows at his chest) Ok, how did my boyfriend get a bigger chest than me?
Slip: REALLY not funny, Sal.
Sally: How did this happen?
Louie: A gypsy cursed us!
Sach: It's true. We went to see some ol' gypsy lady on Coney Island yesterday. Slip got her mad, an' she cursed us.
Chuck: We all woke up this morning as women.
Louie: Including me! What am I gonna tell your aunt? Your real aunt?
Sally: (Sighs) If it were anyone else, I'd be calling for straightjackets right now. But you guys have told me some pretty strange stuff over the years...and amazingly enough, I believe this.
Chuck: Believe this. We need you to take us clothes shopping.
Sally: I can tell. You're not wearing anything under those overcoats, are you?
Sach: We didn't have anythin' to wear! Nuthin' fits!
Sally: You're all lucky this is my day off and I was going shopping anyway.
*Slip scoffs at the "lucky" part.*
Sally: (Grabs her own overcoat) Come on. There's a couple of women's shops just a block away. We'll start there.
(Cut to a small women's clothing shop. Sally and Louie wait on plush pink benches near the pink-and-white fitting rooms.)
Sally: Maybe we ought to go check on them. They've never done this before.
Louie: Four of them have sisters. They all have mothers. How hard could it be to figure it out?
*We hear some loud grunting from inside the dressing rooms, then a thud.*
Sally: Maybe I really should go give them a hand. (She goes in and knocks on the first door.) Are you decent?
Slip: *Groans* Not since I woke up this mornin'.
Sally: What's going on?
Slip: First, I dunno how you can stand this slingshots ya wear around yer chest! I can't breathe in the damn thing!
Sally: Maybe you should loosen it a bit. (Laughs) And no matter what it looks like, it's not a slingshot. It's a bra.
Slip: I'd say it's a pain in my ass, but it's too high. *There's a pause; suddenly a pair of pantyhose appear hanging over the opening of the door* THESE are my pain in the ass! Cuz I can't get them OVER my ass!
Sally: You need a size larger than that. (Opens them to reveal how small they are around the waist; makes a face) Maybe two sizes. You're not a small girl, Slip. Did you borrow these from Sach?
Slip: I dunno! I just grabbed 'em off the shelf!
Sally: Slip, a woman has to check the sizes. (She shakes her head) A 10? Young lady, you are far from a 10. You're more like an 18.
Slip: Will ya quit conferrin' to me like that? Just get me som'en that fits. I sorta can't go without 'em.
Sally: I'm afraid not. (She goes back into the main room.)
*Gabe comes out of the dressing rooms, dressed to the nines in a tight purple wool suit, high leather heels, and purple wide-brimmed hat trimmed with ribbon. She grins at Louie.*
Gabe: Not bad, huh?
Louie: (She whistles) Would ya look at that! You're pretty stylish!
Sally: Gabe, every man in this city is going to drop to his knees and beg you to be his woman. ;)
Gabe: Good. I love the attention.
*Whitey comes out next and twirls. She wears a wide gray felt skirt with a red blouse, red heels, and a red felt hat.*
Whitey: I'm actually kinda cute!
Slip: *Her angry voice calls out* SACH!
Sach: (She runs out, half dressed in a slip that's a little too big for her frame, white bobby-socks, and no shoes) Yeah, Chiefette?
Slip: *Pokes her head out the door* Quit shootin' stuff at me!
Sach: Aw, you're just mad 'cause I'm winnin'.
Slip: I'll give ya winnin'!
(Sally rushes in while the door is open with the stockings.)
Sally: (She grins. Slip is dressed, in a nice maroon suit and matching gloves. Her hat is on the plush chair next to the mirror, and her low brown shoes are on the floor.) Actually, Slip, you look really nice, no matter what you think.
Slip: *Glowers* No, I don't. Yer just bein' nice.
Sally: Seriously, Slip, I'm not. I mean, I am being nice, but...you're very pretty. That suit looks good on you. (She goes to Slip's hair and pulls a brush out of her purse) Now, we just need to do something with your hair.
Slip: *Still making a face* This is weird.
Sally: (She brushes Slip's hair) Yes, it is. But until we can figure out what's going on, we'll just have to make the best of it. (She pulls it back in a low ponytail, then ties a ribbon around it) How's that? You can even wear your hat. That style is popular with men and women.
Slip: At least I can wear a hat.
Sally: No self-respecting woman would go anywhere without a hat! (She hands him his.) There. (Pulls out his necklace) And you don't have to hide this anymore. Many women wear jewelry.
Slip: *Half smile* Force of habit. *turns a shade of red and gives Sally a peck on the cheek*
Sally: I still love you...no matter what. (She grins) Maybe we'd better check on the other three.
Slip: *nods as the blush deepens a little* Yeah.
Butch: (From outside his stall) Geez, these petticoats itch! I'm gonna be scratchin' all day!
Sally: But they're necessary to give your dress the right shape.
Slip: If I can do it, so can you.
Sally: Slip, your suit doesn't have petticoats.
Slip: No, but I'm outta the stall, ain't I? *pounds on the the door* C'mon, it can't be that bad!
(Butch finally hops out. He's pulling on a dark pink patent-leather shoe. He wears a green Swiss-dotted poodle skirt with stiff petticoats, a dark pink sweater over a white blouse, dark pink shoes, and a large dark pink and green hat.)
Slip: You clean up pretty good.
Butch: (Blushes) Thanks. (Turns to Sally and makes a face) I don't know how you do it. The petticoats itch, the stockings won't stay up, and this bra is killing me!
Slip: Ya got my sympathies on the bra.
Sally: I don't need the coverage that you and Slip do. (She sighs) And it's too late now, but I think you need to go up a pantyhose size, too.
Butch: Where's Sach n' Chuck?
Sally: Or Henrietta and Charlotte.
Slip: Sach was messin' around. She was usin' her bra as a slingshot, last I knew.
Sally: She practically doesn't need one.
*Chuck comes out next, wearing a gold suit with a matching hat and low shoes.*
Chuck: I feel really weird.
Butch: Actually, you don't look half bad. (Makes a face and itches his leg) At least your skirt doesn't need to stand out like you're Scarlett O'Hara.
Slip: Speakiní of standin' out... *Pounds on the door of the last occupied stall* Sach, GET OUT HERE!
Sach: (She pokes her head out; she wears her usual blue baseball cap and a pale blue blouse) Yes, Chiefette?
Slip: Out. NOW!
Sach: Oh, fine. (She comes out in the blouse, a slouchy gray skirt, white bobby socks, and blue and white saddle shoes.)
Sally: (Sighs) Sach...you just look skinny.
Slip: I never thought ya could look skinnier. An' what's wit' the cap?
Sach: (He puts his hand on his head) I don't care if I'm a boy or a girl. I ain't givin' up my cap! The Chiefette got to keep her hat!
Sally: Sach, the "Chiefette"'s hat matches her ensemble.
Sach: I don't care if it matches my ensemble or not! Chiefy-ette is always sayin' I never match anyway.
Slip: *Sighs* Sach does have a point.
Butch: Well, what now?
Sally: Now, we head to Coney Island. I'm going to say you're all my cousins from out of town, and Louie's my aunt.
Louie: (Turns to Gabe) And you can still be a reporter. Women are reporters, you know.
Gabe: And some pretty darn good ones, too.
Sally: Ok, ladies. Just follow me. And for those of you in heels, be careful where you step. Holes and cracks in the sidewalk can be murder on your shoes.
Sach: I'm glad I wore my own saddle shoes. They almost still fit!
Slip: I'd belt ya wit' my hat, but I don't wanna bend it.
Butch: (She stumbles a bit in her pink heels) How do you women stay up on these things?
Sally: Lots of practice.
Louie: I'm glad I watched Mama. I know what to do. (Just as she says this, she trips and lands on her face.)
Slip: *Pulls him up* Whatever ya say, Louise.
Sach: (As she and Slip help her to her feet) You don't know more than the rest of us.
Louie: Yes, I do! I've been married for thirty years! I think I know something about women by now! (She squares her shoulders and follows Sally)
*Slip just rolls his eyes, smirking slightly.*
Sally: (Mutters to Slip) And he's spent 25 of those 30 years avoiding his wife.
Slip: At least.
(As they pass Louie's shop, we see two familiar faces knocking at the door. Buddy and Junior, two occasional members of the Bowery Boys, peer into the dark windows.)
Junior: I wonder why Louie's closed?
Buddy: Yeah. Louie's always here at this time of day!
Junior: *Eyes widen; he nudges Buddy* Hey Bud, check out the ladies comin' at us!
Buddy: (Wolf whistles) Damn. Some fine lookin' females there.
Junior: You're tellin' me!
Buddy: (Grins) Wanna split them? We can't take Sally. Slip would knock us into Brooklyn. How 'bout you take the little blond, the knockout, and the goofball in the hat, and I'll take the other three?
Junior: *Nods* Sounds fair to me. Neither of us wants to be on Slip's bad side. It ain't worth it.
Buddy: No kiddin'.
Junior: Letís go introduce ourselves.
Buddy: Let's. (They rush in front of the ladies, making sure to avoid Sally) Hello, gorgeous gals. Nice day, ain't it?
Sach: Yeah, it's a nice day. (Sniffs) Smells good, too.
Junior: Are you ladies out by yourselves?
Sally: Hi, boys. These are my cousins. They're visiting for a few days.
Junior: Cousins! Very nice.
Sach: And we couldn't have a better cousin than Sally.
Slip: That's right.
Buddy: (He grins at Slip) Say gorgeous, what's your name? Pretty little thing like you has gotta have a pretty name.
Slip: *Forces a smile though it pains him* Terri. What's yer name?
Buddy: Buddy. But you can call me yours.
Slip: *Still smiling, though it's about half a step away from disgust* Yer sweet.
Buddy: And you're pretty darn sweet yourself. Say, are you doin' anythin' tomorrow night?
Slip: No, I ain't doin nutin' tomorrow night.
Buddy: Then how 'bout you n' me go tear up the floor at the Starlight Ballroom? (He gets a little closer to her.) Say, 'bout 7?
Slip: *Incredibly forced smile* Fine wit' me.
Buddy: (Chucks her chin) Boy, are you cute. Where are you from, anyway? New in town?
Slip: Brooklyn. I don't usually make it here.
Buddy: You should. This is a pretty nice town. (He reaches behind her.)
*Slip's eyes widen as she gets goosed.*
Buddy: You got one of the firmest rears I ever felt!
Slip: *Smirking, but it's forced* How many ya felt?
Buddy: Enough. (He grins) Your friends are awfully cute, too. I didn't know Sally had such a cute family. (Makes a face) Except for the goofy-lookin' one with the nose. She reminds me a little too much of a friend of mine.
Junior: Aw, I think she's a cutie! *nudges Sach* I don't care what he says. What's your name, sweetie?
Sach: Uh, uh, uh Ho...uh, Henrietta!
Junior: What a nice name! Say, would you like to go out dancin' tomorrow night?
Sach: Uh, sure! But I gotta warn you, I'm a pretty strange dancer.
Junior: *Shrugs* That's okay. I'm not great myself. I just like to get out and have some fun.
Sach: Me too! The Chiefette is really good, but me...nahh, I just move.
(Gabe already has a circle of men around her...and she's flirting with each and every one.)
Slip: *Shakes her head, watching Gabe* Wouldja get a load-a her?
Buddy: Ehh, she's not my type. Too angular. (He grins at Slip) I like my girls a little softer.
Slip: Well, I ain't gonna depress ya.
Buddy: Are you the type who kisses before the first date?
Slip: *Brings her fist up* I'm the type that brings one-a these out.
Junior: She's feisty, Bud.
Buddy: (Puts up his hands) Whoa, sister. No need for that. We'll wait, then.
Slip: *Lowers her fist* That's better.
Buddy: (He puts his hands back on her) God, you feel good.
Slip: Must be all that bench-pressin' of boyfriends I do.
Buddy: (He pulls his hands away) Um, no hard feelin's, Terri. You're just...really comfortable.
Slip: *Grins* I didn't mean ta scare ya. *winks*
Butch: (He whispers to Slip) You're as bad as Gabe! You do realize who that is, right?
*Slip elbows Butch.*
Buddy: What's Blondie goin' on about?
Slip: Nutin'. Sheís just jealous, thatís all.
(Butch makes a face.)
Buddy: Where are you ladies off to in such a hurry?
Sally: Coney Island. We have some business there.
Buddy: At this time of year?
Sach: Yeah! What's wrong with that?
Slip: *Shrugs* We like it.
Buddy: It's gonna be dead up there. Everything's closed. Nobody hangs out up there at this time of year but scary people. (He grins at Junior) You ladies are going to need protection.
Junior: We'd be more than happy to accompany you ladies.