(We open in what looks like the kitchen. Several women and men scurry around, working on what looks like roast beef, potatoes, carrots, and borscht. Six female heads peek in.)

Sach: (Grins) Chiefette, this has GOT to be safe. It's the kitchen! (She sniffs loudly) Just smell that good home cookin'!

Slip: For once, Sach, I'm gonna agree. Kinda hungry myself. :

Woman #1: (Looks up wearily; she smiles) Oh, company. You must be those American girls the General has brought to question. I thought he said you were locked in.

Slip: That's what he thought.

Woman #1: I suppose he let you loose. I am glad. It is not fair for you to be locked up like you are caged animals. (She smiles.) You are all very pretty. Even the one with the strange nose. I can see what General sees in you. :)

Slip: *Makes a bit of a face* Yeah. Say, mind if we have some food?

Woman #1: (She indicates a pie on the table) You can have some meat pie. The rest is for later. (Shakes a finger) But do not have too much and spoil dinner.

Sach: Don't have to tell me twice! (She grabs a napkin, stuffs it in the top of her dress, and cuts herself a big slice of pie!)

Slip: Wanna leave some for us?

Butch: Yeah, Sa...uh, Henrietta!

Gabe: I'll pass. I gotta watch my figure.

Sach: There's plenty for you guys! I'm only havin' this one piece. (He waves at the rest of the pie.)

Woman #2: Why don't I help? (She cuts the pie into pieces and hands them around.)

Slip: Thanks. Henrietta woulda had half the pie before one of us cut a piece.

Sach: (Between bites of pie) That's not true! I woulda saved you guys a slice!

Woman #1: Why did the General bring you here? I heard him say he question you.

Slip: Cuz we're lookin' for the same Gypsy he is.

Woman #1: (The women in the kitchen all start and look up) Gypsy?

Slip: Yeah, a Gypsy at Coney Island. She owes us a favor.

Woman #1: Maria Karkova?

Slip: Yeah, that's her.

Woman #1: I am Svelanta Markov. Maria Karkova is my sister. The General does not know relation. I use married name here.

Woman #2: We know she has great powers.

Svelanta: (Frowns) My powers are not like hers, but...none of you are what you appear.

Slip: *Folds her arms* Can ya do anythin' about it?

Svelanta: I can tell you where she is.

Slip: We'll take that.

Woman #2: And where they hide your friends. Those two boys in basement...are they your...men?

Svelanta: You women are too good for such silly creatures. You need strong, smart men.

Slip: They're our friends, if you must know.

Svelanta: I cannot say where Maria is. They may have people listening. (She writes something down on a piece of paper and hands it to Slip.) Here. This is where she is.

Slip: *Smirks* Thanks. You have no idea how much we depreciate this.

Svelanta: We don't want my sisters powers to fall into the hands of someone like General Karkoff. He is ruthless and corrupted. He wants my sister to help him find traitors in our country...many of whom are probably innocent people whose politics he does not agree with.

Slip: That ain't right, even if she did put a curse on us.

Woman #2: Now you know why we want you to help us.

Slip: What can we do for ya?

Svelanta: Find Maria and make sure she gets to the United Nations in New York. They will protect her.

Slip: We can handle that.

Butch: (He looks at the clock) We'd better get moving. We've gotta get outta here before the General realizes we're gone.

Sach: But I wanna finish my pie!

Butch: You can have pie back at the Bowery.

Slip: You've had enough already.

Svelanta: I'm afraid she is right. You must be gone before General comes back.

Slip: Hear that, S...Henrietta? Letís GO. G-o-o!

Sach: That's goo!

Slip: Well, GOO, then!

Sach: All right, all right. (She grabs one more bite of pie, pulls the napkin out of her dress, and heads out.)

*Slip pushes the rest of the "ladies" out of the kitchen, then follows them out. She mutters an expletive underneath her breath as the General heads right for her.*

General Karkoff: (He frowns and stops by her) What are you doing out of your room, my plump little goose?

Slip: I was gettin' restless.

General Karkoff: You would not have had long to wait. Dinner is very soon. (He gets a bit closer to her.) I am very much looking forward to dinner. You are quite an interesting woman.

Slip: I'm more interestin' than ya know, buddy.

General Karkoff: It is a shame you could not come back to Russia with me. You would warm up those cold nights in Moscow with that firm body.

Slip: *Scowls* I don't think so.

General Karkoff: Don't forget your two little friends in the basement, my plump goose. (He pulls her a little closer) We could make things very difficult for them.

Slip: *Growls* Whadaya want them for anyway? *rolls her eyes* Ain't I the one ya want?

General Karkoff: They are, as you Americans say, insurance. (He runs his hands over her face.) I want you to tell me where Maria Karkova is, but you are stubborn goose.

Slip: I told ya already, I don't KNOW where she is. That's why we was lookin' for 'er, too.

General Karkoff: (His hands go through her hair) Why do you look for her?

Slip: She owes us a favor for som'en we did for her.

General Karkoff: (Fingers her chin, getting closer) What kind of a favor?

Slip: *Scowls again* We gave 'er some demusement.

General Karkoff: Just because you amused her, my odd-speaking goose? (His hands now run further down her body...)

Slip: 'Scuse me? Whadaya think yer doin'? I ain't no piece of clay.

General Karkoff: I do not agree. Your body is soft, yielding... (His hands go behind her) You look wonderful in that dress.

Slip: Didn't have much choice. Nutin' else would fit. *eyes widen* Yer hand goes any lower, aní yer friends'll be callin' ya Lefty.

General Karkoff: (He pulls her to him) I am not afraid of idle threats from a plump goose. You can do no harm to me.

Slip: That's what you think. *aims a knee down low*

(The General doubles over...just as the others come barreling around the corner.)

Butch: (Points) There she is!

General Karkoff: That was not...smart...little goose.

Sach: Chiefette, what happened?

Slip: He got fresh.

General Karkoff: When I get up...I will call guards...kill those boys in basement...

Butch: Oh no, you don't! (She gives him another kick in the balls with her heels. He's now on the floor, groaning.) Sach, Chuck, get some rope from the kitchen. We'll tie him up while he's on the floor.

(The two do as told. All of them help get the General tied to an antique chair in the hallway.)

Sach: Chiefy, are you ok? He didn't....get REALLY fresh, did he?

Slip: *Glowers* Another inch south, aní he would've.

Butch: What's with these Russians? Don't they have women in Moscow? That guard upstairs was two inches from jumping on me!

Chuck: I'm starting to think they don't.

Butch: (He turns to Slip) You guys were the ones who got the directions. Take us to the basement, oh great Chief!

Chief: Shudup. *motions for them to follow her*

(They follow her through a smaller door at the end of the hall. Slip opens the door to reveal a long, dark flight of steps.)

Slip: Not exactly the best time to be wearin' heels. Not that ANY time is.

Butch: I think it's time to take them off. (He takes his off.)

Gabe: Chickens.

Chuck: I'm takin' mine off.

*Slip heaves hers down the hall. Whitey sets her down near the door.*

Sach: I'm the smart one. (Points to his low purple shoes) I ain't even wearin' heels!

Slip: Shudup. *She starts down the stairs first.*

Sach: (Follows him) Boy, is this spooky.

Butch: (He follows Slip) I hope Louie n' Sally are ok.

Slip: They're fine.

Sach: Do you think there's ghost in this house? We are close to Halloween.

Slip: Don't start wit' the ghosts again, Sach. Edgar was bad enough.

(That's when we hear moaning. Sach gasps and grabs Slip.)

Sach: Ghosts! I knew it!

Slip: Gedoffame! *pushes Sach away* Someone find a light!

Butch: I've got it. (He flips a switch. A lone light reveals shadows, cobwebs, crates, barrels...and Junior and Buddy tied to old chairs and gagged, moaning helplessly.)

Slip: *To Sach* There's yer ghosts.

Sach: Guys! (They all hurry downstairs to untie the two boys.) Are you ok?

Junior: Just great. We love hangin' out tied-up in basements.

Buddy: (As Chuck gets off his gag) Yeah. This place is so spooky, the cobwebs have cobwebs. (Sneezes) I don't think anyone's dusted down here since Nathan sold his first hot dog.

Butch: I think we'd better get outta here now.

Buddy: (Grins at Slip) Where did you girls get the get-ups? You look swell.

Slip: From the closet.

Buddy: (He fingers Slip's dress) I think this is real silk! It looks good on you. Makes you look like a movie star.

Slip: Yeah?

Junior: *Stops next to Sach* You're still cute.

Sach: Aw, thanks. You're still sweet.

Butch: Guys, as cute as all this is, we've gotta get outta here. The General could call his flunkies any minute!

General Karkoff: (We cut to the top of the stairs; the General stands there with several of the officers. He holds a gun on them) Not so fast, my little friends.

Slip: Great.

General Karkoff: (He comes down to the basement) Lucky my men came when I did. They found several of their friends upstairs, unconscious. I had wondered how you got free, my little goose.

Slip: We used our feminine charms.

Butch: (Her eyes light up when Slip mentions "feminine charms." She gulps and goes up to the General, smiling) You know, for a Russian, you're not bad-lookin'.

General Karkoff: Thank you. You are not the one who interests me, small goose, but you are not unattractive.

Butch: (She holds up five fingers behind her where Slip can see them as she takes a deep breath and continues) You...do...something to me.

*Slip smirks and passes it on to the others.*

General Karkoff: Thank you. (Narrows his eyes and points the gun at her) I'm not falling for that. I'm not like those men upstairs.

Butch: But it's the truth! (She grabs him and kisses him...distracting him long enough for the rest of the group to go after the other officers)

*The rest of the "ladies" start kneeing the officers in sensitive places. Meanwhile, Slip is still throwing fists. She only does okay and starts getting annoyed by it.*

Butch: (She pulls away, gagging) Eeew! Have you been hitting the vodka?

*Slip joins Butch and throws his fists at the General, smirking and enjoying herself just a little too much.*

(The General ends up on the floor. Butch reaches into his pocket and pulls out a set of keys.)

Butch: One of these has got to be for the front door!

Slip: Better be. *nods at Butch* Nice job, there.

Butch: (Smiles) Thanks, Chief. I only did what I had to.

Sach: (Peers out from behind some boxes) Is it safe to come out now?

Slip: Yes, Sa...Henrietta. It's okay to come out now.

Sach: (He pulls out, revealing that his dress is torn and dusty) Darn it, look what happened to my nice dress!

Slip: How'd ya do that? Ya don't even fight!

Sach: Those boxes are fulla nails, an' one jumped out n' bit me!

*Slip rolls her eyes.*

Butch: We'll fix your dress later, Sach. For now, let's get to the front door and find Maria, before these guys get up and remember what kneed them.

Buddy: You girls are pretty good at fightin'...for girls.

Slip: Yeah, aren't we?

Buddy: I didn't think girls could really fight, but you...you're all different.

Slip: You don't know the lot of it.

Sach: (He gulps as we hear more creaking and moaning) Chief, let's get outta here, before we BECOME ghosts, never mind see one!

Slip: Letís go, m...ladies and fellas.

(Cut to an old apartment building in the aging Bowery section of Coney Island. The gang troop upstairs.)

Slip: She better be here.

(Sach knocks on the door. He keeps knocking, even when a plump older man opens the door. He knocks on the man's barrel chest.)

*Slip grabs Sach's wrist to make him stop.*

Man: Whaddaya want?

Slip: We're lookin' for Maria Karkova. She here?

Man: No. She moved. Think she said somethin' bout goin' out to the boardwalk. Don' know why, this time of year. An' if you see her, tell her I want last month's rent and for her to pick up the rest of her junk. I ain't runnin' a storage unit.

Sach: (Shudders) We have to go back to the boardwalk?

Slip: Do ya know where she is on the boardwalk? We was already there and didn't find her.

Man: I think I heard she's at third and the Bowery, probably near her shop.

Butch: No wonder we couldn't find her! No one thought to look under the shop!

Slip: Figures.

Buddy: Let's get outta here, before something else happens!

Sach: Thank you for your time, sir.

(The man grunts and shuts the door.)

Butch: Come on. Let's go. (They head back downstairs.)

(Cut to the boardwalk area. We see what looks like a shack set up under the boardwalk. It looks like it was thrown together from driftwood. Slip arrives first. She waves the others over to the shack.)

Sach: (Makes a face) I hope she's home. I ain't goin' in there if she's not. It looks like it might fall on my head or somethin'.

Butch: Sure looks creepy.

Slip: I'm goin' in whether she's there or not.

Buddy: How are we gonna get in?

(Just as Buddy says this, the door creaks open.)

Sach: Wow. The door heard us!

Slip: Hello? Maria?

Maria: (She's shadowed by several lamps and her crystal ball) Come in, all of you. You do not want to stand out there in those gowns and catch cold.

Sach: (Gulps) There ain't anythin' in there that's gonna bite us, is there?

Maria: No, I keep this place free of vermin.

Butch: Maria, we...well, we have to talk to you.

Maria: You want me to lift the curse.

Buddy: Curse?

Maria: I wanted to bring out more of your true selves...and show that there's nothing wrong with having a tough side and a side that wants to protect and nurture.

Slip: We get it.

(That's when the door bursts open. The General walks in, holding up his guns. There's several men with him.)

General Karkoff: Thank you for leading us to her, plump goose. You certainly sent us on a merry chase!

Slip: Yer really gettin' on my last nerve.

Maria: (She stands) Karkoff, I will come with you. Leave them alone.

General Karkoff: They know too much. We will shoot them. (He puts his hand on Slip's cheek) Except for this pretty, plump goose. I would like to take her with me.

Slip: *Makes a face* Like hell you will! *She bites the General's hand.*

General Karkoff: (He growls and slaps Slip across the face) You'll not do that to a general, goose!

Slip: Oh, now yer askin' for it...

Maria: Leave the girl alone, Karkoff! She is not what you think she is!

General Karkoff: (He grabs Slip by the arm) You will come with me. (Nods at one of the officers.) You take Karkova. Shoot the others.

Sach: No! Chiefy!

Slip: *Tries to pull out of the General's grip, but can't* Lemme go! *pauses, then calls out* Routine 4!

Sach: You bet! An' for once, I'm gonna help! (He kicks the General's hand with the gun. The General lets Slip go and grabs his hand.)

(The others all jump on the officers. Butch kicks anyone who gets close to Maria.)

Slip: Nice kickin', Sach.

Sach: Thanks, Chief! I couldn't let him hurt 'ya! You're my friend!

Police Officer: (He comes in just as the group is pulling the groaning officers to their feet) Ok, what's going on here? These people said something about spies and Communists...

Sally: Slip! (She runs to her and gives her a hug)

Slip: Hey, Sal.

Louie: (She goes to the others) Are all of you all right?

Butch: Yeah, once we figure out what's going on.

Chuck: Which will be very soon, hopefully.

General Karkoff: Officer, arrest these people! They were interfering in my duties! I am bringing a spy to justice.

Diplomat: (Another man, this one in a suit, comes behind the police officer) Sorry, Karkoff. The UN has heard about some of your activities. You're coming with us to be questioned and probably sent back to Russia.

General Karkoff: This is an outrage! I will report it to Mother Russia!

Slip: Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

Diplomat: (Makes a face) We have to agree. According to our sources, he's been putting pressure on local Russian emigrants for months whom he thought he might be able to use to spy on the US. (Takes the General's arm) Come on, pal. You and the UN officials need to have a LONG talk.

(They lead the Russian officers away. The Police Officer turns to the others as the Diplomat and two more policemen take General Karkoff out.)

Police Officer: You could probably move back to the mainland now, ma'am. We won't let this character bother you again. Besides, we're going to need you for questioning.

Maria: I understand, Officer. I will be there at your headquarters tomorrow.

Police Officer: How did you... (Puts up a hand) On second thought, it's Halloween. I don't wanna know. (Tips his hat to the others) Have a nice Halloween, gang. (Heads out.)

Maria: (She turns to Slip) I believe you have learned something, Terrence Mahoney.

Buddy: Terrence?

Slip: *Cringes* Yeah, Maria, I did.

Maria: And the rest of you have learned some things as well.

Sach: I got to save the Chief!

Butch: I guess...I can come up with ideas.

Chuck: We're all equal parts in this group.

Sach: Yeah. Even me!

Whitey: And me!

Maria: (Nods) Even those who appear simple-minded or stupid has something they can contribute to the greater good. (Turns to Slip) And there is no shame in using ones intelligence AND strength to aid others.

Slip: *Nods* Ya got me.

Maria: (Turns to Gabe) And you, Gabe Moreno, do you have more of an appreciation for the opposite sex now?

Gabe: You bet I do. It ain't easy being a lady.

Buddy: What's going on?

Junior: I'm confused.

Maria: Gentlemen, I want you to step out of the shack. You too, Miss Sally Dumbrowski. You'll be having your beloved back...and hopefully he'll have changed at least a little bit for the better, even if he can't find a job right away.

*Slip turns a few shades of red.*

Sally: (Grins at Slip) I sure hope so.

(Maria gestures at the crystal ball as Sally, Junior, and Buddy leave the shack.)

Maria: (Chuckles) Not always. And now (she touches the crystal ball) I want all of you to put your hands on the ball while I chant the incantation.

(Cut to outside of the shack. The wind picks up and blows sand around as we hear Maria's words float on the wind. There's a series of lights in the shack...and when they're done, six young men and an older man, all wearing dresses, stumble out of the shack.)

Sally: Slip! (She runs to him) Are you ok? You look more like yourself again. (Grins) And you still look good in that dress.

Butch: (Grins) Hey, why don't we keep the dresses? It's Halloween. We'll go to that party tonight as girls.

Sally: And I'll borrow one of your suits and be a boy.

Sach: Yeah! (He grins at his dress...which is really hanging on him now) I'm almost gettin' used to this.

Slip: *Shrugs* Why not?

Louie: No way! Not me! I'm going home and changing as soon as I've can! I've had enough of Halloween, magic, and being a woman!

Slip: *Goes over to Louie* But, Louie, ya look good in Mama's clothes! *puts an arm arm him, then kisses his cheek; Slip laughs seeing the lipstick he left behind on Louie's cheek*

Louie: (Blushes) Slip! (He tries to rub it off) I hope Mama doesn't see this!

Buddy: Does this mean our date is off?

Slip: What do you think?

Sally: Actually...why don't you two go find your good suits and join me as their escorts?

Junior: Would ya like an escort, Sach?

Sach: Sure! I could use some protection, in case there's any other Russians around with wanderin' hands. (He takes Junior's arm.) Shall we?

Junior: *Grins* We shall!

Sally: (Takes Slip's arm) How about I escort you, Terri?

Slip: *Smirks* It would be an honor, Sal.

Louie: Let's go home, (grins) Boys.

Buddy: (Grins at Whitey) How 'bout you n' me...and maybe someone can explain exactly what happened here tonight?

Whitey: Sure! I'll tell ya the whole story! Ya see, it started when we were on the boardwalk yesterday...

Chuck: *Offers an arm to Butch* You and me?

Butch: Looks like it. (Grins) Come on, best friend. Let's see if we can find our own escorts.

Gabe: *Grins and goes over to Louie* Want an escort, Louie? I promise not to leave any lipstick behind on ya.

Louie: (Takes Gabe's arm) You, I trust.

Gabe: Thank you.

(The entire group walks off arm in arm, laughing and stumbling across the blowing sand. Maria waves at them...before she winks at the camera and fades out all together as the camera cuts to the bright full moon.)