*We open with a shot of Lucy pulling out of the hotel parking lot, headed for the Canadian border.*
Sach: I can't believe we're gonna cross the border!
Butch: I hope Canada's ready for us.
Slip: Ain't nobody ready for us, but we're goin' anyway.
Whitey: I've always wanted to see Canada!
Sach: Yeah, all those beautiful Canadian madam-mo-sells, hockey games, snow in October...
Butch: Where are we goin' first?
Sach: Where's the best Canadian food?
Slip: Sach, for once I'm in agreement. We're headed for food.
Sach: (Points to a small building on the highway) How 'bout them?
Slip: If there's no rejections, that's where we're stoppin'.
(Lucy pulls up next to the building. Cut to inside. We have the typical bar set, with long bar around the room, a jukebox blaring an instrumental dance song, and men shooting pool on one side. The Boys take a table near the back.)
Sach: Oooh, would you look at this place?
Butch: It looks like some of the nicer bars at home.
Waitress: (She comes up to them) Ok, what'll you have?
Butch: How about a burger and fries?
Chuck: Burger and fries for me as well.
Whitey: I'll take the burger and fries, too.
Sach: Everything on the menu, and give it wings.
Slip: *Glaring at him* Sach...
Sach: Oh, ok, Chief. Everything on the right side of the menu.
*Slip belts Sach over the head with his hat.*
Sach: Oop! Chiefy didn't like that. Ok, ok, burger and fries, too. A big one! With a lot of onions!
Waitress: How about you, Chiefy?
Slip: Burger and fries.
Waitress: Ok, five burgers and fries. Anythin' to drink?
Butch: What do they usually drink around here?
Waitress: Oh, they usually have the local beer.
Slip: I'll take that. *points at Sach* He'll take whatever the kids have.
Sach: How come I can't have the beer too, Chief?
Butch: You know Chief, maybe you're the one who shouldn't have the beer. You are driving. (Looks at the waitress) I'll have a beer.
Sach: Oh good, does that mean I get to drive?
Slip: *Rolls his eyes* You ain't drivin', Sach. I'll take a coffee.
Chuck: I'll have a beer.
Whitey: Cherry pop?
Waitress: Sure, we have cherry pop. Ok, three beers, one coffee, one cherry pop.
Slip: I hope they got beer at the hotel.
Butch: (As the waitress leaves with their order) This is Canada. They probably have beer on every street corner.
Slip: *Eyes the pool tables* I do know one thing that'll make me happy.
Sach: I dunno, Chief. Those Canadian guys might not take kindly to you clearing them of everything they own.
Slip: Since when's that bothered me?
Sach: It would bother me if I had to lean over to scrape you off the floor.
Slip: *Belts Sach again* Shudup.
Butch: Well, why don't you strike up a game, Chief? We should have a little time 'fore we eat.
Sach: Ok, but I'm not responsible for what happens!
Slip: 'Course not, Sach. *He heads for the pool tables.*
*Slip grabs a cue stick and chalks it, eying an empty table. He goes to the empty table and removes the rack from the pool balls. He stops at the end of the table and lines up his break.*
Man: (A tall, handsome fellow with large forearms and bushy brown hair comes up to him) You new in town, little fella, or just visitin'?
Slip: *Lines up his next shot* Jus' visitin'. What's it to ya? *briefly raises his eyes to look at the man*
Man: Just askin'. Never seen you around here before. (Raises his eyebrows as Slip sinks three balls.) You're pretty good.
Slip: *Stands straight and chalks his stick* I do all right.
Man: How'd you like to play a real game?
Slip: *Shrugs* I've never passed one up.
Butch: (Eyes widen as we cut back to the boys; their burgers have arrived) Chuck, tell me he's not going to play a game with that guy. His arms are bigger than Slip's head! And he has a pretty big head!
(Sach is ignoring everything but his food and beer.)
Chuck: *Shakes his head* I wish I could, Butch, but I've got a BAD feeling.
*Whitey is also ignoring everything but his food and Cherry Pop.*
Man: You go first, little man.
Slip: Yer too kind, shorty.
*Slip lines up his shot and breaks.*
Man: (As four balls go in) Very nice. Where you'd learn to be a pool shark?
Slip: I ain't no shark. No one taught me.
Man: (Two more balls go in) You sure you're on the level?
Slip: I don't know ya, I ain't got no reason to lie to ya.
Butch: (We cut back to them) That guy doesn't look happy. (Turns to Chuck) How fast can you run?
Chuck: Faster than Slip.
Butch: You think we'll have to carry him out?
Chuck: I hope not.
Man: (Frowns as we cut back to him and Slip) You sure don't like sharin'.
Slip: Never been fond of sharin'. Just ask my brother.
Man: How are you doin' this?
Slip: Skill, what else? *sinks the rest of the balls* Well, buddy, sorry I couldn't save ya some.
Man: You're gonna wish you'd saved yourself some extra teeth when I'm done. (Looks under the table) This has gotta be rigged.
Slip: Peruse the shambles. *leans against his stick* Ya ain't gonna find nutin'.
Slip: Maybe next time ya oughta find someone of yer own skill to play.
Man: Watch it, Runt. Your whole body is smaller than my left fist.
Slip: Do I look scared?
Man: (He grabs Slip by the lapels) Now how scared are ya, Runt?
Slip: Scared of what? And would ya mind not crumplin' the suit, hmmmm?
Man: (He lets Slip go and smooths the shirt out) Fine. I won't crumple the suit. (Hits Slip into a table) I'll crumple your face.
Slip *Slight groan* Oh, that does it... *Sends a flying fist towards the man's jaw*
(The man goes flying into another table! All of those guys are now covered in beer and sandwiches. Two start slugging the other guy. Two go over to Slip, looking menacing.)
Butch: Time to help your brother?
Chuck: Whether we want to or not. Just once, I wish he'd keep to himself.
Butch: It's his mouth. He has to say somethin' to everyone...whether they want to hear it or not.
Chuck: What I wouldn't give for just one day that he'd have laryngitis. *Sighs* Come on. Letís help that dear brother of mine.
Sach: (Turns to Whitey) I think it's time we took our food to go. Looks like it's gonna get noisy in here.
Whitey: *Nods* Yeah, it ain't a very good floor show.
(Sach and Whitey grab the rest of their food and flee to the back of the room. Butch grabs a guy and sends him down the bar, knocking over drinks and beer bottles!)
Butch: I always wanted to do that!
*Chuck grabs a tray and knocks a guy over the head with it. Slip is still swinging fists. He clips one guy, but another comes up from behind and grabs him.*
(Butch grabs a beer bottle and hits the guy holding Slip over the head with it. His eyes roll in the back of his head, and he collapses.)
Butch: I hope I didn't give that guy a concussion!
Slip: *Eyes the guy* I hope ya did.
*Chuck hollers suddenly as he's tossed onto one of the pool tables.*
Slip: Shit. *makes a B-line for the guy who tossed Chuck*
(Butch clips a guy in the chin, then goes after Slip.)
Slip: C'mere, you ass!
*Chuck shakes his head, dazed.*
(Butch helps Chuck off the table.)
Chuck: Thanks, Butch.
Butch: Anytime, man.
*Slip and the guy who tossed Chuck are throwing fists left and right. A lot of the fists are landing.*
Butch: You up for finishing these jerks, or should we grab your brother and the food, pay, and split?
Chuck: Letís finish. I'm okay.
Butch: Good. Go help your brother, before those guys knock his two remaining teeth out. I'm gonna go back to the bar.
*Chuck makes his way over to Slip and the guy who tossed him, though the guy clips Slip's jaw just before Chuck reaches them. Slip sags, leaving an opening for Chuck. He decks the guy who tossed him. The guy crumbles, out cold.*
Chuck: *As Slip shakes his head* You okay?
Slip: Sure I am. He got a lucky shot in.
(Butch knocks another guy into the bar...but another one comes up behind him and grabs him. He throws the blond man over the bar. He comes up dazed.)
Slip: *Points toward the bar* Butch!
*The brothers head for the bar. Slip spins the guy around and swings a fist.*
(The man hits the bar, out cold. His buddy goes after Chuck.)
*Chuck goes on the defensive, fists raised.*
(The man raises his fists to hit Chuck in the face, but he's not fast enough.)
*Chuck comes out of his dodging with a uppercut to the man's chin.*
(He knocks the man into one of the remaining tables. Butch runs out with a seltzer bottle and squirts two guys, who fall into the jukebox.)
Butch: Are you guys ok?
Chuck: I'm okay. How about you, Butch?
Butch: (Rubs his head) Sore, but I think I'll live.
*Slip joins them, dusting his hands off.*
Slip: That was fun.
Butch: Not bad, huh Chief?
Slip: Routine seven's always welcome.
Sach: (He joins them with bags of food) We got the waitresses to give us doggie bags. They say it's on the house as long as we never set foot in this place again.
Butch: How about we finish lunch on the road?
Sach: Whitey and I already finished. (Holds out the doggie bag) This is your doggie.
Slip: Good. I worked up an epitome in that fight. Letís go, men.
(They head out hastily as several of the men start groaning. Fade out on what's left of the bar. Fade in on Lucy on the road again. This time, they're passing through a small town, mostly of older buildings. All of the signs are written in French.)
Butch: Hey Chief, do you know where we are?
Sach: (He looks around him) Someone wrote all the signs wrong!
Slip: I would if I could read the signs.
Chuck: These signs are written in French!
Butch: I guess askin' someone for directions is out.
Sach: Doesn't someone have a book of French words that Louie gave us back at the Falls?
Whitey: *Comes up with the book* Here it is!
Sach: (He takes the book and reads it) Hmm. Jem apple "Sach." (Looks at Slip) I didn't know apples had gems up here, Chiefy! They must be really hard on the teeth.
Slip: Sach, I got a tip for ya. If ya want som'en, just point.
Sach: (As we hear a beep, he points to Slip) Chief, I want you to move. I think we're blockin' traffic.
*Slip makes a face and mutters as he directs Lucy towards a mountain.*
(The camera follows Lucy as she chugs up the mountain. Sach grins and lets out a yell.)
Sach: Helloooooo out there!
Slip: *Annoyed* Sach...
Sach: Aww, I wanna hear an echo! (He leans over Slip's side) Hellooooooo?
Butch: Sach, if you keep hollarin', you're gonna bring the rocks down on us!
*Slip smacks Sach to back him off.*
Sach: Why don't you try it, Chief?)
Slip: *Sighs* If it'll make you shudup... *rolls his eyes, then calls out* Hellooooooo?
(That's when a familiar red roadster drives by. The woman we last saw at the dance grins and winks at Slip!)
*Slip's eyes widen. He grins, staring after her.*
(She winks and tosses her hair, smiling at him.)
*Slip starts to head towards her.*
Slip: *Reaches the red roadster* We meet again.
Woman: Well, you did say hello!
(The other four Bowery Boys are busy trying to keep Sach from causing an avalanche.)
Slip: *leans on the passenger door, smirking* So I did. You ain't followin' me or nutin' are ya? Not that I'd mind, natterally.
Woman: No, I just wanted to get away. The air is beautiful up here.
Slip: That ain't the only piece of beauty up here.
Woman: Thank you. Where's your lady friend?
Slip: She ain't here. Back at the hotel or maybe doin' some shoppin'.
Woman: What a shame. (Looks at her watch) I have to be meeting my friends for some shopping myself. Perhaps I'll see you around?
Slip: Ya have so far. *Grins* Do ya really gotta go?
Woman: Yes. I don't want to be late.
Slip: *Smirks* I could go wit' ya.
Woman: Go shopping for clothes and shoes?
Slip: I still gotta wear som'en.
Sach: (He climbs over the door of the car and taps Slip's shoulder) Hey Chiefy, wanna see the flowers I collected?
Slip: *Turns* Flowers? Why would I wanna see yer flowers?
Sach: (Shoves them under Slip's nose) 'Cause they're really pretty. I ain't never seen flowers like this in the Bowery!
Slip: *Makes a face, wrinkling his nose* Smell like nasty sturgeons to me!
Woman: (Laughs) Looks like you have your hands full. I'll see you boys later. (She drives off. Sach looks up, frowning.)
Sach: Hey, I know her! Isn't she my girl?
Slip: Gimme another sniff of those flowers.
Sach: Sure! (He hands them to Slip.)
*Slip takes the flowers in one hand and belts Sach over the head with his hat with his free hand.*
Sach: Oop! I guess you're not into flowers, then!
(We fade out on Sach rubbing his head and Slip glaring at him.)