(We open with a long camera shot of the four goons dragging Butch and Buddy across the grounds of DuVal's estate. Zelda is fondling Junior.)
Butch: (Struggles) Let us go! Haven't you had enough with Chuck and Slip?
Buddy: Don't you do to Junior what you did to Slip!
Zelda: You boys are no fun.
Junior: Come on! I'm not a toy!
Goon #1: (Frowns and looks up as they pass by the barn) Hey, what's that sound?
Goon #2: I'd say it's a tree rustling, but it's not windy today!
(That's when something tall, lanky...and ANGRY lands on Zelda.)
Sach: GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY FRIEND!
(Another goon trips over a wire pulled between two trees. Bobby and Whitey step out and shake each other's hands, then tie the goon up with the wire.)
*Gabe and Chuck use their fists on the remaining goons.*
(Buddy and Butch help them.)
Sach: (He has Zelda by the shoulders and is shaking her) You ain't gonna make Junior into some dog, you bad lady, you!
Butch: Where's Slip?
Bobby: And Duke's not here, either.
Buddy: That witch Sheila has him!
Sach: (Now he's really shaking Zelda) That mean lady has my other Chief, too?
Zelda: Yes, she does.
Sach: You make her give them back!
Butch: Chuck, what's going on? Where have you been? That evil Sheila says she's gonna marry the Chief, an' she's got him actin' like some pet!
Buddy: She has Duke now, too!
Sach: We ain't gonna let her marry either of them! They don't love her!
Bobby: We have to stop that wedding!
Sach: (Shakes Zelda again) And you're gonna help us!
*Zelda makes a face, but she has no retort.*
(Cut to inside the main house. Sheila wears an enormous white gown with lots of ruffles and lace and a huge veil. She peers out to the ballroom...and smirks when she sees a vacant Slip standing on the other side in a white brocade suit, his hair combed and his eyes clouded. Two goons hold Duke next to them, also dressed in white brocade. No one notices that one goon holds a knife to Duke's back.)
Sheila: (Smirks) Perfect. My husband...and my lover. I couldn't have two finer men. >:)
(The music plays, and an older man leads Sheila down the aisle. Duke narrows his eyes at her. He gives Slip a little shove.)
Duke: (Mutters to Slip) Snap out of it! You can't want to go through with this!
Slip: Yes, I want to.
Duke: Why? You don't love her!
Slip: She told me to.
Duke: Slip, she's evil! You have to...ow! (One of the goons pokes the knife further into his back.)
Slip: I have to.
Duke: No, you don...hey! (Two of the goons grab his arms, pulling him back and away from Slip.)
Sheila: (Whispers into Slip's ear as she arrives at the podium) You will marry me, pet. You will marry me, and you will do what I say.
(We cut to a short montage of Sheila looking pleased with herself, Duke looking angry, and Slip looking vacant as the crowd watches and the priest drones on, until we get to one of the priest's final lines.)
Priest: If anyone wishes to protest this marriage, let them speak now, or forever hold their...
Sach: (As he suddenly swings down from the rafters) I PROTEST IT! (He grabs Slip in his arms)
(He's followed by Chuck, Gabe, and Buddy. Junior, Butch, Whitey, and Bobby burst in through the doors.)
Sheila: What in the... (growls and points at the group) Arrest them!
Duke: Routine 7, boys! (He finally turns around and hits one of the goons holding him as Gabe lands on the other. Sach lands on three goons as Zelda follows the boys in.)
Sheila: Zelda, what in blazes is going on? I thought you were taking them to the out houses!
Zelda: I had no choice. They jumped me.
Chuck: *Goes to Sheila* You let Slip go, NOW!
Sheila: No. (She shoves Chuck over to Zelda)
Zelda: Hi cutie.
Chuck: Not again.
(Most of the female guests have fled. Some of the men have gone with them; others are helping the guards attack the boys.)
Butch: Oh no, you don't! (He grabs a pie from the banquet table near-by and shoves it in Zelda's face.)
Sach: (Grins) Good idea, Butchy! (Grabs a cake) FOOD FIGHT! (Throws it in Sheila's face. She screams and tries to go after him, but slips on the remains of the cake and ends up on the floor. Sach grabs Slip's arm) Come on, Chiefy! We've gotta get outta here!
Duke: (He grabs Chuck) Yeah. Let's see if we can round up the other guys and break out of this joint.
Slip: *Shakes his arm away from Sach* No.
Sach: Chiefy, you've got to come with us! You're our leader!
Slip: I'm a pet.
Sach: (Shakes him) You ain't no pet!
Slip: Yes, I am. *pushes Sach away*
Sach: No, you're not! If you ain't gonna listen to me (grabs a pie) you're gonna have to listen to THIS! (Hits him so hard with the pie, he knocks him onto several empty chairs!)
*The momentum ends with Slip rolling off the chairs to the floor.*
Sach: (Runs to Slip's side as food flies all around them) Chiefy! Chief, are you hurt? Speak to me!
Slip: *Slowly lifts his head; faintly* Ya hit hard wit' a pie, Sach... *drops his head back down on his arms*
Sach: Oh boy, I didn't mean to hit him THAT hard!
Duke: (He and Chuck hurry up to Slip and Sach) What happened?
Sach: I hit the Chief with a pie!
Duke: Is that all? I thought you hit him with a sledgehammer!
Chuck: *Starts to pull Slip up* Slip? Are you okay?
Sach: (Takes his other side) Yeah!
Slip: *Winces* Head's poundin'...
Duke: We've gotta get him outta here.
Butch: (He and Whitey joins them) Come on. Bobby's bringin' the cart around. The others are with him. We have to get outta here, before the guards recover.
Sach: Where are we gonna go?
Buddy: (He and Junior drag Zelda with them) How about we ask her?
Zelda: Let me go!
Duke: Where's DuVal? I noticed he ain't here for the happy occasion.
Zelda: No, he isn't. He's on his way to England with those women and the short older man. *realizes she's said too much* Oh, me and my big mouth.
Butch: He's WHAT?
Sach: Oh man, he's takin' Louie n' the girls out of the country!
Butch: Not if we get to him first!
Slip: We gotta...stop 'im...
Duke: We're gonna have to leave the chicks here. We don't have the time to mess with them right now.
Sheila: (Stumbles over to them, covered in cake) You'll never get out of here alive!
Chuck: Wanna make a bet?
Sach: Chief, you ain't in no shape for runnin'. (He gently lifts Slip over his shoulder) So I'll take you to the carriage.
Sheila: Come back! (She waves her arms as all of the boys run out of the ballroom) Zelda, get the remaining guards after them!
Zelda: Right! *heads towards those guards still moving* GUARDS!
(Cut to outside. Bobby has, indeed, pulled up in front of the estate. Gabe is in the back. The others barrel out just as they arrive, Sach still carrying Slip.)
Bobby: (As they load everyone in; Sach climbs in front and drops Slip between him and Bobby) Do we have everyone? (Turns to Slip and Sach) Is Slip ok?
Sach: I dunno. Ask him.
Slip: *Winces* I only had a headache before... *looks at Sach* Now I'm nauseous.
Sach: (Hugs Slip) Yup, that's my chief!
Bobby: (As they take off down the road) Slip, what happened?
Slip: DuVal poured some potion of his down my throat. Then it's mostly hazy until Sach hit me with the pie.
Sach: He almost ended up marryin' that nasty Sheila lady!
Bobby: Funny, she doesn't seem like your type.
Slip: *Makes a face* No, she ain't.
Sach: We've gotta get back to the Lucy Ursula, an' fast! That DuVal is shippin' Louie n' the girls out of the country!
Bobby: Shit. God only knows what he's gonna do them, especially the girls.
Slip: He gonna get one-a these. *shakes a fist*
Sach: Slip, do you think Lucy's fast enough to catch up with one of DuVal's fancy ships?
Slip: *Nods* Yeah.
Bobby: We'll MAKE her fast enough. Right, Chief?
Slip: She'll catch 'em.
Sach: (Looks over his shoulder; eyes widen) Right now, we'd better just make the carriage faster. We're bein' chased by some of the guards from the big house!
Bobby: I can do that, no problem. I can make a carriage do anything. (He cracks the reins harder...nearly jolting Slip and Sach out of their seats!)
*Slip just groans again.*
(The camera follows the two carts across the New York countryside. The camera moves down to the wheels pounding against the dusty road...and when it moves up again, we're now winding our way through the busy New York City harbor. Bobby finally pulls the carriage to a stop next to where the Lucy Ursula is docked.)
Bobby: Ok, this is the last stop! Everyone all right back there?
Sach: (Groans) No. I can't feel my butt.
Slip: *Faintly* Is it over?
Bobby: Yeah, it's over, Chief.
Slip: Good. *Leans over Sach and the side of the cart to lose his lunch*
Sach: (Makes a face) Chief, I didn't need to know you had a pickle and baloney sandwich for lunch. (Looks again; comes back up) With mustard.
Duke: (As he and the others pile out; sees Slip) Chief, I take it you didn't handle the ride well.
Sach: Gee, what made you think that, the fact that his last two lunches are now layin' on the ground in front of us?
Slip: *Sits up* Just shudup. Letís get out to the boat.
Sach: (He helps Slip out and over the mess; Duke goes around to help Bobby out as the others head for the ship) You wanna take the controls, Chief, or should Chuckie or Duke do it?
Slip: *Shakes his head* I wanna go, but I can't take the controls. Duke and Chuck can work together.
Duke: (As he helps Bobby to the gangplank) Sounds like a good plan, Chief. Sach will stay with you and Bobby on the ship. Things could get messy when we catch up with DuVal.
Sach: Don't worry, Chiefy! I'll take care of ya.
(We fade out on the Lucy Ursula as Slip groans and Sach helps him on the gangplank.)
(Fade in on DuVal's ship, the Golden Warrior. The camera moves past the men cleaning the deck's to the captain's cabin. Two of the goons throw Sally into the room.)
Goon #1: This is the one you wanted, Sir.
DuVal: *Appears wearing a robe* Thank you, men. Away with you.
Sally: (Growls to DuVal as the men leave) You won't get away with this.
DuVal: I'd say I already have. Now, my dear... *Runs a hand from her cheek, down her neck, over her shoulder, and down her arm to her elbow*
Sally: (Pushes his arm away and moves towards the back of the room) Stay away from me. I'm not your plaything.
DuVal: I suppose you're expecting to be rescued, then? *moves towards her again*
Sally: (Moves back) I can rescue myself. I'm no weak woman.
DuVal: *Grabs both her arms* I love a strong woman! *pulls her into a hard kiss*
Sally: (Slaps him as hard as he can when he lets her go) You bastard!
DuVal: A pet name. I love it. *grabs her again and pushes her onto the bed*
Sally: NO! (She knees him in an important place)
DuVal: *grunts, but comes back with force* You little wench! *reaches for a flask on the back of the bed*
Sally: (Lifts her foot) Don't come near me!
DuVal: You're mine. You will do what I want and as I say. *leans over her menacingly with the flask*
Sally: Where do you people get the idea that humans are just toys you can play games with? (Narrows her eyes) What's in that flask?
DuVal: You'll find out. *pinches her nose and pours the flask's contents down her throat*
(Sally sputters and gasps as the brownish liquid flows through her lips. She coughs for a few minutes...but when she looks up, she's smiling stupidly, and her eyes are clouded.)
Sally: (Giggles) You're cute.
DuVal: Excellent. You're mine.
Sally: (Giggles again) I'm yours. (Falls against him) I'm just yours.
*DuVal smirks as he lifts her in his arms.*
(Suddenly, we hear the sounds of cannon fire in the distance! One of DuVal's sailors rush into the room.)
Sailor: Sir, we're under attack! (Raises his eyebrow) By the leakiest piece of plywood I ever saw. I think it's being held together by spit and tree sap.
Sally: (Giggles helplessly) That's funny.
DuVal: No, no, NO! Stop them!
Sailor: Yes, sir! (He turns around...just in time to see a familiar fist go in his face.)
Sach: (As Slip, Sach, and Bobby step into the room) Nice work, Chief!
Bobby: You still got it.
Slip: Thanks, men.
Sally: (Turns to Slip, giggling) You're cute, too. I know you from somewhere.
Slip: *Eyes widen* SALLY! *steps right up to DuVal* Bastard. Let her GO.
DuVal: How did you get away from your new wife?
Slip: I had a little help.
Sach: Yeah, us!
Slip: Now I'm gonna beat ya black and blue.
DuVal: (He pulls a sword off of his desk) Not if I skewer you first.
Sally: (Giggles) You're both cute.
Sach: Chief, be careful!
Slip: *Draws his sword* You an' what army?
DuVal: Me and my own army. My men can decimate those fools you run around with.
Slip: Yer unaware then that we repatched yer goons before comin' in here, huh?
DuVal: (Growls) I've had enough of you, boy. I'll be more than happy to take the cost of this ship out of your fat hide!
Slip: Yer still more talk than action.
Sach: He got ya on the "fat," Chief.
DuVal: (He tosses Slip a sword) You and me, boy.
Slip: *Points the sword at DuVal* I been waitin' a long time for this, DuVal.
DuVal: As have I. (Slashes at Slip) Prepare to meet your maker, boy.
Slip: *Dodges* We'll see about that. *thrusts at DuVal*
DuVal: (Ducks away from Slip) You're slow, boy. Ate too much cake at your wedding?
Slip: No, still got some of that potion ya poured down my throat. *thrusts again*
DuVal: What a shame. (He swings away...but not fast enough. Slip cuts his arm.) You little brat!
Slip: *Smirks* If ya can't handle it, why'd ya wanna duel, hmmmm? *slashes*
DuVal: (He slashes at Slip) Let's see how you like it!
(Slip ducks away...but in doing so, loses the sword.)
DuVal: (Points his sword at Slip's chest) Come back to me, boy. I'm still your guardian.
Slip: *Swallows hard* Go to hell, DuVal.
DuVal: (Smirks, backing him into the wall) What do you have to say for yourself now, boy?
Slip: You won't get away with this!
DuVal: It looks like I already have. (He's about to run his sword into Slip when the door bursts open! Louie, Rachel, Marsha, Jane, and all of the remaining Boys stumble into the room...some of them still fighting with the remaining pirates!)
Slip: *Slight smirk* Looks like yer wrong, DuVal.
Bobby: (Points to DuVal) Grab him!
Sach: Don't have to tell me twice! (Turns to Slip) Can I hit him, Chief? Pleeese?
Slip: Get 'im, Sach.
Chuck: *Appears next to Sach* Leave me a piece, Sach.
Sach: Ok! (He hits DuVal against the wall so hard, he's literally seeing cartoon stars) Your turn!
*Chuck hits DuVal next. DuVal hits the wall again. Now, he's not only seeing cartoon stars, but cartoon birds as well.*
Duke: Nice work, Chief. (Nods at Sally, giggling on the bed) Maybe you ought to do somethin' 'bout her. She don't look too good.
Louie: What did that monster do to my poor niece?
Slip: If there's anythin' left of 'im later, I'll tear 'im apart. *goes to Sally*
Sally: (She looks up at Slip with a slight giggle) Hi, handsome.
Slip: Sally, are ya okay? What'd that jerk do to ya?
Sally: I dunno. I feel...light... (pulls Slip close) ...like I wanna kiss someone.
Bobby: (From the crowd) Kiss her!
Slip: How 'bout me? *He leans in and kisses her.*
Sally: (Grins) Yeah, you'll do nicely. (Kisses him back...harder)
Slip: *After they separate* Wow...
Sally: (Gasps) Yeah...yeah, you're good....
(There's a burst of applause from the back of the room. When they turn around....all of the Boys and Sally's friends applaud them. Sach grabs them both for a hug.)
Sach: You two are just soooo cute, I can't stand it!
Buddy: (He, Butch, and Chuck move to reveal that they've tied up DuVal; the others have his men tied with rope from the deck) I think our Chief wants to have a chat with this fellow about his fortune?
Slip: *To Sally* Gimme a few minutes, Sally?
Sally: (Grins) Sure! I'll be waiting!
Slip: *Gives her a wink* I won't be long. *goes to join the fellas; smirks at DuVal* Well, well, well. Ya ain't so high an' mighty now, are ya?
DuVal: Drop dead, boy.
Slip: I've had enough of you. If you had one ounce of humility in ya, ya wouldn'ta used me an' Chuck as servants, though it seemed more like slavery to us. Ya never cared a thing about us, just our family's wealth an' we ain't never seen a lick of it. We're takin' back what's ours an' sendin' you where ya belong: jail.
DuVal: Just try it. I'll take you to court, boy.
Slip: Yeah, an' it's gonna be yer word against mine. They'll throw the case outta court, Ďcuz ya got no proof.
DuVal: I'll haunt you until the ends of time, boy.
Slip: *To the others* Boys, take the garbage out. I'm sure the authorities will enjoy receivin' this gift.
Buddy: Our pleasure. (He and Junior haul DuVal to his feet and take him away; Gabe, Butch, and Duke take DuVal's men away)
Sach: (He takes Slip's hand and puts it in Sally's) Ok, you two. You have a lot of catching up to do. We're going to leave you alone now. (Glares at the other guys) All of us.
(He shoos the other guys out, then turns to Slip.)
Sach: Ok, Chief, you pitch woo. I'll stand guard just out here and make sure no one peeks.
Slip: *Claps Sach's shoulder* Thanks.
Sach: Anytime. (He heads out the door and makes sure to shut it behind him.)
Sally: What was that all about?
Slip: *Shrugs* I, uh, well...
Sally: (Snuggles against Slip) You're cute.
Slip: So're you. *sighs* You are unharmed, right? Cuz if he did anythin' to ya...
Sally: (Looks at herself) I look all right. That bad man... (She shudders) He tried. Nothing happened. He wasn't cute.
Slip: *Makes a face* I don't like that he tried, but I'm glad he didn't get anywhere. *sighs* I'm not so sure I can say the same for me, but I don't remember much about it.
Sally: He hurt you, too?
Slip: Forced some liquid down my throat an' handed me off to the women. I don't remember nutin' after that.
Sally: (Narrows her eyes) Those women...bad women, right?
Slip: The guys said they were tryin' to marry me off on Sheila so they'd officially get what belongs to our family.
Sally: What DOES belong to your family?
Slip: Land, wealth...dignity.
Sally: Dignity? (Frowns) Are you a duke, or a prince, or something?
Slip: *Shakes his head* No. Our family was wealthy, but when our parents died an' that damn DuVal stepped in... *pauses and sighs* He stole it all an' made us his servants. That's where our dignity got lost.
Sally: (Frowns) That's terrible! You poor dear! (She puts her arms around him) Did you try to get your money back?
Slip: Of course! We tried all the time, but he'd always bring in some goons an' outnumber us.
Sally: (She frowns) Your back...he hurt your back. It was him, wasn't it?
Slip: *Nods* Yeah, he did it, a lot. The earlier wounds were never healed before the next time he'd... *pauses, wincing* That's why I still have issues if I'm shoved against somethin' back-first.
Sally: Uncle Louie was right. He IS a monster. Did he do that to Chuck, too?
Slip: No, I wouldn't let him. I think DuVal enjoyed beatin' me so he never argued, an' eventually just started wailin' on me.
Sally: And when he left the country, you decided to run away.
Slip: Not quite. He left without us, but sent for us. We were on a ship to meet him, but the ship wrecked, givin' us the best chance of gettin' out from under his thumb.
Sally: And that's when you came up with the pirate idea.
Sally: And now...you got your money back. Will you... (she looks at Slip) still like me?
Slip: Of course! That don't change anythin'.
Sally: Good. (She snuggles against Slip) I still love you, too. I don't care how much money you have. You're a really nice guy.
Slip: *Wraps his arms around her* An' yer a really nice girl.
Sach: (Runs into the room) Hey Chief, we're almost at port!
Slip: *Smiles at Sally, but answers Sach* Thanks, Sach.
Sally: Let's go watch the ship go in! (She grabs Slip's hand and pulls him on deck)
Slip: I ain't gonna argue that.
(As we go out, we see several couples holding hands...including Rachel and Chuck. Sally grins and points to them.)
Sally: Aren't they cute?
Slip: *Grins* Yeah, they are.
Sally: (Points on-shore) Look! It's the mililta! And aren't they those two ladies who attacked us?
(Indeed, several of the King's Guards hold Sheila; two more have Zelda. Neither look happy.)
Slip: *Grin widens* Yeah, that's them.
Guard #1: (He waves to the group as they lead DuVal and his men off the boat) Hello, gentlemen! We're glad Mr. Dumbrowski came to us before DuVal arrested him. We've been after these three for a while. He told us all about their scheme to take over the shipping and steal cargo.
DuVal: (Growls at the girls) This is all your faults!
Sheila: It was your idea, you fool!
DuVal: You were the ones who wanted to raise the taxes!
Sheila: But you wanted to play pirate!
*Zelda just keeps turning her head between the two as they argue.*
DuVal: You wanted to jump in the sack with those boys!
Sheila: I wasn't interested in the one YOU wanted me to marry!
DuVal: I just wanted to get rid of both of them! I never would have gotten their money if they were still around!
Sheila: Zelda never did get to enjoy hers!
DuVal: How do you think I feel? I never got to enjoy anyone!
Zelda: *Looks at Sheila* Yeah, you were the only one to get anywhere.
Sheila: And I would have gotten even further if those idiot friends of theirs didn't get in the way!
Guard #1: (Nods at Slip) We'll need you to appear before the court. (Frowns) And we need to discuss something about your own pirating activities. That is against the law, sir, even if it did bring these miscreants to our attention,
Slip: *Nods* Fine. As long as they're hauled away, I'll take whatever reprise ya got...except for lashin's. *winces*
Guard #1: We don't do that here. Maybe jail time, but not lashings.
Sally: (Takes Slip's hand) I'll be here when you get out.
Sach: (Frowns) You think we'll end up in the clink?
Slip: It were my idea, Sach, an' I'm gonna tell 'em that.
Duke: No way, Slip. You ain't takin' it for everyone this time. We all went along with you. We'll all go.
Whitey: *Timidly, leaning over Sach's shoulder* Do we have to?
Chuck: I'm not letting you take this one by yourself, Slip. We all agreed readily to help you out. *Gives Sach and Whitey a pointed look.*
Slip: Alright, alright, fine.
Marsha: (Leans over Whitey) Don't worry, honey. I'll wait for you, too.
Whitey: *Smiles, turning a little red* Okay.
Sally: (She kisses Slip) I love you, my pirate king.
Slip: *Returns the kiss* An' I love you. A king needs his queen... *leans near her ear* not to mention someone to share his booty with.
Sally: (Grins; whispers) You ARE cute.
Slip: 'Course I am.
(We fade out as the two continue kissing. Fade back in on Louie's. Sach finishes waving his arms.)
Sach: ...An' that's how it coulda been for our ancestors.
Butch: Do you think our ancestors really could have been pirates?
Slip: *Shrugs* Anythin's possible.
Sally: I wish we could really stick it to Sheila and Zelda like that.
Sach: As long as they don't really try to marry the Chief!
Slip: *Raises a fist* Better not.
Sally: I'm just glad you're here now. (Kisses Slip on the cheek) You really are my pirate king...no matter what time you live in.
Slip: *Grins* An' I'm glad yer here... *suddenly frowns* Too much talk of my ancestor's back troubles, now mine's actin' up... *raises an eyebrow and gives Sally a little smirk*
Sally: Why don't we go in the back room and I'll give that back a rub? (Smirks) Nothin' else, though.
Slip: I'll take it.
(They go in the back room. The other guys all exchange looks and follow them...but the door shuts in their faces. They lean into the keyhole as we fade out on Slip's delighted "ooh!" sounds.)