(Cut to onstage. Everyone's gathered around Chuck and Rachel as Slip, Buddy, and Junior join them.)

Buddy: What's going on?

Rachel: Mr. Johns said he and his brother have just about gotten everything solved!

Marsha: Yes? Who is it? Did you find them?

Bobby: (Nods) Yes, Mr. Johns. What have you discovered?

Slip: *Points at Jane* She did it. She worked as a secretary in the War...the Professor's secretary. The now-deceased Officer was originally one of the guards who worked there. He caught her trying to steal secret files that she intended on selling to enemy countries.

Marsha: (Her eyes widen) Jane! Miss Pfifster! I know I hired you only yesterday, but...

Bobby: (Points at Jane) Grab her!

Rachel: Right! (She, Junior, and Buddy reach for Jane, but the small woman pulls a gun out of her purse.)

Jane: Don't come any closer.

Marsha: (She pulls away) What are you going to do now?

Jane: *Aims the gun at Slip and puts a hand out* First of all, I'll take what's left of the laser.

*Slip makes a face and places the broken pieces in Jane's open hand.*

Jane: Thank you. I'm planning on selling this to some interested foreign powers, something I had tried to get that absent minded Professor to do, but always refused. Fortunately, thanks to my new look, he didn't recognize me tonight.

Buddy: (Raises his eyebrows) Hey, you're Hanoi Jane, the famous spy! No one ever caught her! I remember hearing about her during the War!

Bobby: And now we know why they never caught her. She was posing as a secretary to a top scientist.

Sach: (Grins and holds out another bag) Hey, Miss Hanoi Jane, want some gumdrops? They're the really spicy kind!

Jane: Gum drops?! I'm trying to make a get away here!

*Chuck takes advantage of the distraction and grabs Jane's gun away from her. Buddy and Junior immediately follow up, each taking an arm.*

(The cops come in at this point. Louie jumps back, horrified. He puts up his arms.)

Louie: Officer, spare me! I only work here! I didn't do it!

Cop #1: If you didn't do it, pal, who did?

Cop #2: And where's Officer Clements?

Sach: Oh, he's in the back. He's on ice. (Sally elbows him.)

Chuck: Officer Clements was killed by this woman. *motions to Jane, then to the gun* And this is her gun.

Cop #1: (Nods) Thanks, sir.

Sach: How did you guys find all this out, anyway?

Slip: *Motions to Buddy and Junior* These two were helpin' us out.

Buddy: (Nods - he and Junior pull out their own detective licenses) We ain't dancers. We're private eyes. He asked us to help him out when he found out what the professor was doing. (Grins at Chuck) He wasn't really drunk at that party. He was trying to get information.

Chuck: *Eyes widen* Guess I fell for it, too.

Buddy: (Nods at Jane) She attacked Miss Cynthia 'cause she worked with the Professor and knew all his secrets.

Junior: And Mr. Johns was attacked simply because he knew too much.

Marsha: What about that flight pin Mr. Johns found earlier?

Slip: It belongs to her. She was a secretary in the Air Force before being assigned to the Professor.

Cop #1: Ok, we'll take her away. (They lead Jane out. Marsha turns to Junior, grinning.)

Marsha: You and your friend were very brave.

Zelda: *Latches onto Slip, who looks about ready to explode* My hero! *mutters* And don't you forget this is in the script.

*Slip just mutters under his breath as Zelda continues to snuggle him.*

Rachel: (She takes Chuck's arm) Now that you know I'm not a killer, want to go to Sardi's for a drink?

Chuck: *Grins* I'd love to.

Sach: (Puts his arm around Sally) Don't worry, Sal. You've still got me.

Sally: I'm thrilled. (Rolls her eyes.)

Louie: (Looks at Bobby) What about you?

Bobby: (Nods) I talked to Mr. Johns at that same party. We were both concerned about the Professor. We knew someone had been sending him those threatening notes. I've been helping him and his friends out.

Louie: (Throws up his arms) Am I the only one who had no idea what was going on here?

Sach: How's that any different from usual? (Puts out the bag) Gumdrop?

Louie: (Sighs) Sure. Maybe it'll help my stomach. Murder makes me a little nervous.

Sally: (Mutters) Everything makes you a little nervous, Uncle.

Zelda: *Pulls away, grinning widely at Slip* I love a brilliant man!

Slip: *Grunts, then forces a smile* Yeah... *quickly* I love you, too.

*Zelda grins wider and pulls him into a quite the kiss. Despite the script, Slip is struggling against her.*

(Rachel grins, dips Chuck, and kisses him. Marsha gives Junior a kiss on the cheek. Sally gives Sach a hug.)

Bobby: So... (he holds up the laser) What are we going to do with this?

Slip: *Snatches the laser from Bobby* Forget about it, it's broke anyway. *tosses it over his shoulder, then forces another smile at Zelda* 'Sides, I have her. *Zelda pulls Slip into yet another full-on kiss, enjoying herself way too much.*

(Everyone is in place as the curtain rings down. The moment it does, Whitey, Duke, and Butch run over to Slip and Chuck. Rachel brings Chuck up for air; they're both red and grinning.)

Duke: Slip, we've searched this whole place. There ain't no money. Sheila's gonna get away scot-free.

Slip: *Turns to Zelda with a scowl* You gonna tell us where Sheila hid that money or not?

*Zelda shakes her head, smirking, and folds her arms over her chest.*

Rachel: Could we do something unpleasant to her? (Glares) Maybe give her a rash or somethin'.

Duke: We need more time!

Slip: More time... *his eyes widen, then yells loud enough for the audience to hear* WAIT A MINUTE! THAT AIN'T HOW IT WENT! *motions with his good hand* Raise the curtain!

Stagehand #1: (Eyes widen) What? But I thought the show was over!

Rachel: Huh?

Sach: I thought we were all goin' home?

Bobby: What do you mean?

Louie: Slip, what's goin' on?

Slip: We gotta stall to keep searchin'. We're goin' back out to give the others more time.

Duke: Gabe and Scruno are lookin' around outside. We're gonna go join them.

Sally: Good idea, Slip. (Glares at Zelda) We'll keep her onstage, so she doesn't run off to warn her boss.

*Zelda frowns, her eyes narrowing.*

Slip: *To Zelda* An' no kissin' this time!

Buddy: (As the curtain opens) What about that Alabama O'Malley guy?

Louie: Yeah! His play doesn't end twice!

Slip: It does now!

Bobby: But Slip...we already said who done it! You can't have people do it twice!

Slip: Yeah, we can! I just said that ain't how it went.

Sally: (Out loud - the entire audience is now staring at them) Ok, then, Mr. Johns, how DID it go?

Slip: It went... like this! *waves his good hand around*

Sally: Well, Mr. Johns, who did it (mutters) this time? ;

Bobby: Yes, what have you discovered?

Sach: (He pops a gumdrop in his mouth) Yeah! What have you discovered that's so important that we need to open the curtain again? I wanna go home!

Slip: It weren't Jane who done it. *points at Bobby* He did it. He knew the Professor durin' the war. He and his team of flyers used to haul machinery an' blueprints, but they're record said they weren't trustworthy. He went to the Professor, hopin' to get his hands on his inventions an' sell 'em to an enemy country for a lot of cash, but the Professor refused. ' Cynthia didn't want him, either. He wanted to get back at both-a them so he sent the letters. Officer Clements knew about his spotty war record an got killed for it. He came after me ‘cuz I knew this.

Bobby: (He smirks) Well, well. Nice to see you pulled it off, Johns. I didn't think you'd figure it all out.

Slip: I'm smarter than I look.

Bobby: (Jane has come back in; she gets behind Bobby, and we see her quickly hand him the gun without the audience seeing it) But are you smart enough to get around (pulls out the gun) this?

Louie: First a girl, now a war veteran!

Slip: I hate bein' right some times.

Marsha: And I thought he was cute!

Buddy: (He smirks at Junior) You get the big Mr. Johns. I'll get the little one.

(Buddy grabs hold of Chuck, pulling his arms behind his back.)

*Junior grabs Slip's good arm, but only holds on lightly.*

Junior: I got him.

Slip: You ain't gonna get away wit' this.

Buddy: That's what you think, Mr. Johns.

Rachel: Hey, let them go!

Zelda: *To Junior* You let him go!

Slip: *Mutters to Junior* Don't let me go.

Bobby: (Mutters to Slip) Don't worry, Slip. There's another reason we're doing this, you know. We're trying to keep her onstage...and away from you and her boss.

Slip: *To Bobby* Ya like wavin' that thing. Betcha ain't got the guts to shoot.

Bobby: Oh yeah? (He shoots...and everyone jumps aside as a real bullet hits the wall dangerously close to Slip.)

Slip: *Eyes widen* Guess ya do got the guts. *He eyes the hole in the wall and swallows hard.*

Bobby: (Narrows his eyes) You see that I'm not messing around. Hand over that laser, Johns.

*Slip puts on an annoyed look, but when he holds out the busted laser, his hand is clearly shaking from the near miss of the real bullet.*

Slip: Ain't got much choice.

Bobby: (Mutters to Slip) Slip, I swear up and down I didn't know that was a real gun! I wish I wasn't holdin' the thing!

Slip: *Sigh and mutters* It's fittin' wit' everythin' else that's happened, though.

Sach: (He hands Bobby the gumdrops) Want a gumdrop?

Bobby: (Sighs and takes a gumdrop) Sure, Sach. How can you STILL be eating those things?

Sach: It's easy. All this running around has given me an appetite. (He grabs Bobby's arms) Mr. Johns, get the gun!

*Slip snatches the gun away, though he's still shaking noticeably. Unseen to the audience, he empties the barrel of the gun.*

(The cops come in just in time for Sach to take Bobby's arms. Rachel grabs Buddy and Jane gets Junior.)

Louie: (He jumps in front again) I swear, Officer, I still didn't do it!

Cop #1: If you didn't do it (makes a face) this time, who did?

Chuck: *Points at Bobby* He did. He just shot at my brother, too.

Cop #1: Then it's you we're takin' away, pal. Come on. (They lead Buddy, Bobby, and Junior offstage.)

Rachel: Good work, Mr. Johns! (She grins and dips him to kiss him again)

Sally: (Taps Slip on the shoulder and smiles) Nice work, Mr. Johns. You're really brilliant.

Sach: (Puts out his bag of gumdrops) Want one?

Slip: *Smiles wearily at Sally* It's nutin'. *turns to Sach and shakes his head* No.