(We open at a series of cliffs in the desert, just outside of Bowery Canyon. Slip, Sach, and Chuck ride up to one of the cliffs in what looks like a very beat-up old carriage.)

Sach: (As the carriage stops) Oop! I think Ol' Lucy broke a wheel again. (Looks under him) Nope, she's fine. The road's the thing that's broken. All those rocks! Somebody ought to clear 'em out.

Slip: Remind me, and I'll have ya do that next time ya say yer bored.

Sach: (As they climb out of the cart) Well, here we are, same as usual! (Looks around) I don't see nobody, Chief. I think it's safe to go in.

Slip: There better not be nobody around here. C'mon.

Chuck: *To Sach* Is it just me, or is he in a slightly worse mood than usual?

Sach: It ain't you. He's got a thing about Sally, but she's droolin' over that new guy in black.

Chuck: *Sighs* For a tough guy, he sure does lack the courage to talk to her.

Slip: *From inside, yelling* Are you two comin' in or not?!

Chuck: Let’s go.

(They enter. The cave is surprisingly well-endowed, including a chemistry set for Sach, a very primitive crystal radio for Whitey, tools to fix Ol' Lucy, "Lone Disarrangers" costumes for everyone, and maps and photographs hanging everywhere. There's a table in the back where Whitey and Butch play cards. They both look up as the other three enter.)

Butch: What took you guys so long? Do you know how many lies I had to tell Louie to get this afternoon off? If he or Mama find out my aunt in Carson City ain't sick...

Whitey: Not to mention I'm on my eighth goldfish!

Slip: *Sarcastic* I'm so very sorry. Next time I'll just tell the crooks to take all the loot. Would that work out better for ya?

Butch: So there really was another hold-up.

Sach: 'Course there was! What do you think we was doin' over there, shootin' the breeze with Mama?

Butch: The "shootin'" part would be about right.

Slip: Those robbers weren't much for us, but enough to contempt some damage. I got a bad feelin' som'en big’ percolatin'.

Sach: Yeah! And then there's that guy...

Butch: The one in black? I saw him puttin' the moves on Sally at the bar.

Slip: I dunno what to make of that guy yet, other than I already hate his guts.

Sach: I don't know why you're mad, Chief. Sally likes you. She's crazy about you. Remember when she said how brave n' darin' n' stuff you were?

Slip: But she weren't talkin' 'bout ME. She was talkin' 'bout the Lone Disarranger me.

Sach: Still, she was talkin' bout you.

Butch: When are you guys gonna tell everyone?

Sach: When we figure out what's goin' on.

Chuck: Which at the rate things are going, it could be a while.

Slip: Shudup.

Sach: Well, why don't you guys tell us what's been goin' on?

Butch: Louie's really worried. Someone's been trying to buy up land, but he won't sell.

Whitey: And the Indians' land is bein' stolen right out from under them!

Sach: What do you think they're doin', Chief? Maybe they're gonna build a baseball field an' start a team?

Slip: I dunno, but I doubt it's to build a baseball field. *pauses* I wish we knew who's the brains behind all this.

Sach: Yeah, me too. I'd take the guy who's doin' this an' give him a right, and a left, and a one-two! (He shadow boxes next to Slip. He goes over to the wall of the cliff to box with his shadow...and his shadow knocks him out.)

Slip: *Eyes Sach on the floor* Serves him right. *turns to the others* Perhaps we can set up a trap & try to figure out who's runnin' this thing.

Butch: What kind of a trap?

Slip: That's a good question. We could always use Sach for bait.

Chuck: Slip...

Slip: He might just agree to it.

Butch: Yeah, but what does he have to steal?

Slip: *Eyes Sach again* Just his yo-yo.

Butch: Maybe we should do somethin' less obvious.

Sach: (Starts to come-to) Where am I? (Looks around) I heard someone mention my yo-yo.

Slip: Nutin's happenin' to yer yo-yo. *thinks* Maybe a shooting contest, with a large moneterial prize for the winner.

Butch: That sounds good. You think Mayor Dudley, Mama, and Marshal Cornwall would agree to it?

Slip: Why wouldn't they?

Chuck: How do we suggest it to them?

Slip: I would be willin' to give them the idea. At least I know that I can refrain from answerin' any others questions.

Sach: An' I'll help ya. You know Mama can be stubborn.

Slip: So can you.

Butch: The Mayor's a pushover. He's scared of everythin'. The Marshal's no dope, though.

Slip: We'll be there for the whole thing. They won't lose nutin'.

Sach: Can we go as the Lone Disarrangers, Chief? Can we?

Butch: Yeah. They'd be more likely to listen to 'ya. I can spread the word at Louie's.

Slip: We'd have to. They ain't gonna listen to us as us.

Sach: Can we carry the pearl-handled revolvers and walk into Louie's like we own the joint? You know how much we scare Louie doin' that.

Slip: Yeah, sure. It'll keep Louie on his toes.

Sach: And you guys have all gotta listen for more information. (He turns to Slip) An' I'm gonna work on more potions that'll allow us to get in and out of buildin's without bein' seen.

Slip: You do that, but take it easy, you know I'm allergic to that one thing you use, whatever it's called.

Sach: What, this thing? (Hands a beaker to Slip)

Slip: *Turns* Yeah, that! *starts sneezing*

Sach: (He puts it back) Ok, ok, Chief. I don't want you to sneeze my chemicals away! They cost me 25 cents and fifty box tops from Walston's Hot Whole Wheat Cereal! That's a lot of cash!

Slip: *Turns back, making a face and wipes at an eye* No kiddin'.

Butch: And maybe we ought to take a look at Ol' Lucy while you're here. Has anyone found the secret compartments?

Slip: *Clears his throat and shakes his head* No, usually cuz we won't let anyone near her.

Sach: No one wants to get near her! They're all afraid she'll fall apart on them. (Smirks) Boy, are they dumb. They don't know what Lucy can REALLY do.

Chuck: And hopefully no one will.

Slip: No one will as long as I have a say in it.

Sach: An' Whitey n' me are the ones who are gonna make her useful. I'm comin' up with a new motor that'll really make her go!

Slip: As long as she goes forward, I don't care what you come up wit'.

Sach: What, do you think we'll make her go backwards?

Slip: Wit' you two, one never knows.

Whitey: The Chief knows us so well.

Butch: (Looks at his watch) I think we ought to get back. People are gonna start missin' us.

Sach: Yeah. We're supposed to be runnin' errands for Mama.

Slip: We sure don't wanna make Mama mad. She's already miffed at us for disappearin' durin' the robbery.

Sach: Yeah. We got an earful 'bout that from Mama an' from Sally. She don't think too mucha us. (Grins) 'Cept the Chief.

Slip: Do I gotta go over that again?

Sach: Why don't we go back and see if Sally's at Louie's? Maybe the guy in black ain't there!

Slip: I hope he ain't there. Otherwise I might be feelin' like knockin' his block off.

Sach: Oh yeah? Where are you gonna knock it to?

Slip: Same place I'm gonna knock yers in a moment if you don't quit askin' stupid questions!

Sach: Ok, ok. (He, Chuck, and Slip get back into Lucy) You boys gonna take your cart back?

Butch: Yeah. We borrowed one from Whitey's boss at the telegraph office.

Whitey: Yeah, which we gotta get back as soon as we can.

Sach: Ok, then. We'll see you there. (Nods at Slip) Come on, Chief. We gotta get into our good clothes. The ones that make us into the good guys.

Slip: Yeah, good guys...and the only one that Sally will pay some mind to. *Shakes his head* Let’s go. I'll drive. It'll keep my mind off of Sally.

Sach: Yeah, ‘cause you want your arms around Sally, not your mind.

*Slip swats at Sach.*

Sach: Oop! Ok, ok, Chief. (The trio climb into Ol' Lucy. Butch and Whitey get into the carriage next to them that's in much better shape. They all head across the desert as we fade out on the group.)

(Cut to Louie's. It looks pretty much the same as it did in the beginning of the western sequence. Louie pours drinks for the people at the bar. Saloon girls dance onstage. Sally serves drinks to men talking or playing cards. Gabe is among those playing card games.)

Gabe: Sorry, no threes. Go fish.

*One of the men picks a card from the deck, making a face.*

Sally: (She brings drinks to the group) So, how's the game going, gentlemen?

Man #1: (Tosses the cards down) I'm out.

Man #2: This stranger is gettin' us good!

Gabe: *turns to Sally* Beginner's luck.

Sally: (Makes a face) So I see.

Man #3: Do you have any queens, stranger?

Gabe: Go fish. *turns* Sally, can I talk to you after this hand?

Sally: (Nods, frowning) Yes. I have a few minutes while the girls are finishing their routine.

Gabe: Thanks.

Gabe: *To the 4th man* Any fours?

Man #4: (Pulls a 4 out of his cards) Dang it, you're one hell of a Go Fish player, Mister!

Gabe: I've been playing a long time. *puts his last pair down to win again* Thanks for the game, fellas.

Sally: (As they sit at a table in the corner) Ok, Gabe. What is it that you want?

Gabe: I wanted to apologize for earlier. I know I appeared rather yellow, what with having the gun, but handing it over, but I haven't been handling a gun for too long and I'm not comfortable with it yet. I didn't want anyone to get hurt, so I handed it over.

Sally: (Sighs) All right. The Lone Disarrangers came in, anyhow, just like they always do. Everything ended up being fine.

Gabe: I've heard of them. What do you know about the Lone Disarrangers?

Sally: Only that they show up whenever there's trouble in town.

Gabe: That's all?

Sally: The smaller one has amazing shooting skills. The local Indian tribes claim they're magic. They throw glass tubes full of strange substances that allow them to disappear and reappear wherever they want.

Gabe: Sounds like they're familiar with chemicals to me. I dabble a little myself. *pauses then nods* The smaller man did seem a good shot. I'd be happy to be half as good someday, but I'm working toward it. I guess my problem is I don't have someone to offer me words of encouragement.

Sally: You'll find someone. (Sighs) I wish they didn't take off so fast! I want to know who they are, especially the little one. They seem so familiar...

Gabe: I was sort of hoping that you'd like to join me.

Sally: For what? Finding the Lone Disarrangers? (Shakes her head) Oh, no, they'll find us. If there's trouble in town, they'll be there.

Gabe: I’d like to take you out to dinner. Then, I was going to have a little shooting practice, and. I'd appreciate the company.

Sally: Well, all right. I could get Uncle to let me have off for the night crowd. Butch could help.

Gabe: Great! *Kisses her hand.*

*Slip and Sach come in. The first thing Slip notices is Gabe kissing Sally's hand.*

Slip: I'm gonna kill 'im.

Sach: (Grabs Slip's hand) X-nay, Chief. That won't help ya get Mama to agree to the shootin' contest.

Slip: *Claps Sach's shoulder* Thank you, Sach. I lost my head for a second.

Sach: Why don't we join them instead? I sure am hungry.

Slip: *Shrugs* Yer always hungry, but why not. Let’s go.

Sally: (As they sit down with them, she beams) The Lone Disarrangers! What’s the trouble, boys?

Sach: (Tries to sound tough) Me an' my boss, we're just here to ask a favor of Sheriff Dumbrowski and Mayor Dudley.

Slip: *Looking at Sally* That's right. After dealin' with those robbers earlier today, we came up with an idea to draw them out and rid the town of them for all. We just hafta get the okay. *Gives her a small lopsided smile. Gabe doesn't miss the staring, but doesn't say anything.*

Sally: What's your idea?

Sach: We're gonna have a contest!

Slip: A shootin' contest. The best shooter gets a large cash prize. We figure the robbers won't be able to pass up nabbin' the cash.

Sally: (Nods) That's a good idea. I think Mama is with Uncle now. Why don't we pass on the idea to them?

Slip: Why don't we?

(They go over to the bar. Mama sips milk and argues with her husband.)

Louie: (Looks up; eyes widen) Oh my! The Lone Disarrangers! Is there something wrong here, sir?

Slip: Nothin', kind sir. We're here to ask a favor.

Mama: What kind of a favor?

Sach: We wanna hold a contest to get the bad guys out of hidin'!

Mama: A contest?

Slip: A shootin' contest with a cash prize. We figure the cash will draw 'em out, and we can get 'em and find out who they're workin' for.

Mama: (Nods) That makes sense. Me, Gilbert Dudley, an' Jake Cornwall will be the judges, so there's no funny business. I'm assumin' you boys will be joinin', too?

Slip: *Smirks* Natterally.

Mama: And you'll be keeping an eye out, too.

Slip: Of course we will.

Mama: I'll have to talk to Mayor Dudley, but it's not a bad idea. We'll have to spread the news throughout the area, of course.

Sach: We know a very fine writer at the Bowery Canyon Daily Express who could spread the news! He's good at spreadin' butter on his toast!

Gabe: Perhaps I could help spread the word as well. It'd be a great way to help me meet the townfolk.

Slip: Yes, I suppose it would...

Sach: Yeah, (shoves one narrowed eye right at Gabe) includin' the ladyfolk.

*The doors swing open. Three men with handkerchiefs over their noses and mouths come in, all holding guns.*

Mama: (Pulls out her guns; other men in the room do the same. Louie dives behind the bar until only his eyes are shown. Saloon dancers and unarmed men run for cover) Boy, did you fellas pick the wrong day to rob this place.

Louie: Robbers! Why can't you pick on somewhere else? This is a peaceful place!

Robber #1: We were told to come here. We want everything in the till, Pops. (Points a gun at Sally and Gabe) Or those two get it.

Robber #2: (Gasps and points at Sach and Slip) Ain't they the Lone Disarrangers?

Slip: Yeah, we are. You have awful timin'.

Robber #2: We gotta get outta here!

Robber #1: Not so fast. (He goes over to the two) I don't think they're so tough.

Slip: You don't think we're tough? Well, you don't look so tough yerself, buddy.

Robber #1: Yeah, well, that's what you think, Pal. See that chandelier? (He proceeds to shoot out all the bulbs)

Louie: Hey! You're going to have to pay for that!

Robber #1: (Sneers) Take it out of my charge account, Pops.

Robber #2: So, what can you two do?

Sach: I can do this! (He flicks his whip out...and grabs a drink off the shelf in the back of Louie's bar) Ahh, fresh sody pop.

Slip: Very nice, my friend.

Sach: Sure! Want some sody pop?

Slip: I would.

(Sach sends the whip over and grabs another bottle, then hands it to Slip.)

Sach: Hope 'ya like sasparilla.

Slip: Love it.

Robber #1: (Shoves his gun at Slip's head) What about you, shorty?

Slip: First of all, ya don't interrupt my sasparilla. Second, we'd need to step outside to show ya what I got. I don't think the kind bartender likes us shootin' up his place.

Louie: No, I don't. You already have to pay for the chandelier. The soda's on the house.

Sach: But I got it off the shelf!

Slip: *Ignores Sach's comment; to the first robber* Shall we go out?

Sach: We shall. (Leans over Sally) Why don't you come, too? You'll really like it.

Sally: Why not? (Takes Slip's arm) I like a man who can shoot. (Slight glare at Gabe)

Slip: Then you'll love this.

*Gabe sighs and folds his arms, but he follows them outside.*

*The group gathers outside, including the robbers. Slip kisses Sally's hand and sends her toward Sach.*

Slip: And now, boys, a nice spectacle if you ever saw one. One of my infamous trick shots.

(Sach slips away. Butch joins him. They go over to Chuck, who is already taking everything down on a notepad. Butch and Sach talk animatedly to him, and all three hurry off.)

*Slip aims the gun over his left shoulder and pulls the trigger. The bullet bounces off this and that, with the three robbers following its every move.*

Slip: *Points toward the loft about the saloon* See that tin can on the railin', there? The bullet's gonna hit that and knock it off the railin’.

Robber #1: If you miss, we get the money in the till.

Slip: It ain't gonna miss.

*Just after Slip finishes speaking, the bullet hits it's mark, and the tin can flies off the railing. Slip puts a hand out and catches the can.*

Slip: Any questions, boys?

Robber #1: (Points his gun at Slip) Get him!

Slip: That ain't no question.

Mama: (Pulls out her gun; Sally does the same) You ain't goin' no place!

Sally: (She, Slip, and Mama back the robbers to the porch of the saloon) Don't you dare hurt him!

(That's when a huge net drops from the roof of the saloon onto the robbers,..and Sach, Butch, and Chuck jump on top of them!)

Slip: Nice goin', fellas.

Sach: We got 'em! We got 'em!

Mama: That you did. (Looks around) Darn it. You wouldn't have seen either of my boys around, would ya? Of all the times to need their help and they're not around...

Slip: Sorry, ma'am, we haven't seen 'em.

Mama: Well, if you see 'em, tell 'em I need their help gettin' these varmints back to the jail house. (Turns to Chuck, Butch, and Sally) Butch and Sally, you two get back to your jobs. Chuck, you need to get this article into the Daily Express right away!

Chuck: Already on my way, ma'am! *heads off*

Sach: (Mutters to Slip) Time for a getaway? Mama's gonna need the other us!

Slip: *Mutters to Sach* As quick as we can.

Sally: (Takes Slip's hand) Can I come with you? Maybe we could go back in the saloon and have a drink...

(Sach elbows Slip.)

Slip: Uhhhh...I'd like that, I really would, but....we got other pressin' business. Another time, miss...

Sach: Yeah! Bye! (He pulls Slip aside. When they're away, he throws a round object on the ground. There's a puff of red smoke. When it subsides, they're gone.)

Sally: (Sighs) What a man! I wish he'd stay for a few minutes!

Gabe: *Steps forward, arms still folded* Yeah.

(Slip and Sach reappear, now wearing less colorful, plainer cowboy clothes.)

Sach: Hi, everyone! Sorry we're late. We got lost coming back here from the desert. There's a lot of desert out there.

Sally: Why am I not surprised?

Slip: Did we miss som'en?

Mama: 'Bout time you idiots showed up. Here. Help me take these robbers back to jail. The Lone Disarrangers and some of the local boys stopped them from robbin' my husband.

Slip: Sorry, Mama. C'mon, Sach, let’s get these goons outta here.

Sach: Yeah. Come on, you bad lawbreakers! (They haul the two across the street to the jail.)